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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation

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cyberdad
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22 Sep 2019, 5:32 am

League_Girl wrote:
I watched A Netflix movie that was based on a true event and it was called Unbelievable. This young woman was raped in her apartment by a random stranger and because she had been gaslighted during interrogation, she actually believed she made it up because they told her she did and said things she said weren't adding up and the contradictions. So she admitted to making it up and it cost her her home and friends and her job. I think for many years she believed she made it up and didn't know why and she probably dreamed it and thought it was real. But there was one therapist she had to see mandatory and she believed she was raped and told her she had been violated. She didn't believe that she made it up even if she said she did. She just knew she was coerced into thinking she made it up.

I don't think they intentionally gaslit her, the police force are not trained to understand trauma so you may only remember what the victimizer smelled like and stuff but not remember the order it happened in or what they looked like or how they came in. And the fact they expect the victim to understand the victimizer's motives like why they would just come in their apartment in the middle of the night and rape them and leave.


What an awful thing to happen to this girl. However, I don't think this is gaslighting.

What happened here is a form of repression due to false memory effect. The police interrogating her and put the thought in her head that maybe she imagined it. At some point she repressed the original rape and unintentionally incorporated the false memory that nothing happened (subliminally giving in to suggestion that she imaged everything).

Read articles by Professor Elizabeth Loftus, she's an expert on exactly this is sort of misinformation effect - detective/police interrogations are classic places for misinformation to be accidentally incorporated into a person's long term memory.



cyberdad
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22 Sep 2019, 5:37 am

Pepe wrote:
Totally understood.
People do that all the time to me.
Perhaps some people are threatened by my massive intellectual capacity, ability to reason, my acumen in regards to objectivity and my profound respect for the truth. 8)
Go on. :mrgreen:


I've learned over time to be as neutral as possible with superiors/clients. I operate somewhere between Spock and Captain Pickard from Star trek in terms of not appearing to know more than my superiors or coming across as a smart arse.



SharonB
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22 Sep 2019, 9:21 am

cyberdad wrote:
...not appearing to know more than my superiors...

That would be near impossible in my situation. I need to find a smarter place to work, to if have any chance at that.



cyberdad
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22 Sep 2019, 6:03 pm

SharonB wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
...not appearing to know more than my superiors...

That would be near impossible in my situation. I need to find a smarter place to work, to if have any chance at that.


There's an old addage to "speak when you are spoken to" which is useful in a workplace where you have a micro-manager or authoritarian/psychopathic manager.



Pepe
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22 Sep 2019, 8:22 pm

cyberdad wrote:
What an awful thing to happen to this girl. However, I don't think this is gaslighting.

To be clear.
You do realise this was a movie, right?
Had it been a documentary the poster would have said, err, "documentary", surely.

cyberdad wrote:
What happened here is a form of repression due to false memory effect. The police interrogating her and put the thought in her head that maybe she imagined it. At some point she repressed the original rape and unintentionally incorporated the false memory that nothing happened (subliminally giving in to suggestion that she imaged everything).

And apparently, there have been real-life incidences of "false memory implants" by psychotherapists, etc, to unintentionally fabricate a crime scenario also.

cyberdad wrote:
Read articles by Professor Elizabeth Loftus, she's an expert on exactly this is sort of misinformation effect - detective/police interrogations are classic places for misinformation to be accidentally incorporated into a person's long term memory.


Indeed. 8)



Pepe
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22 Sep 2019, 8:32 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Totally understood.
People do that all the time to me.
Perhaps some people are threatened by my massive intellectual capacity, ability to reason, my acumen in regards to objectivity and my profound respect for the truth. 8)
Go on. :mrgreen:


I've learned over time to be as neutral as possible with superiors/clients. I operate somewhere between Spock and Captain Pickard from Star trek in terms of not appearing to know more than my superiors or coming across as a smart arse.


Like Sheldon Lee Cooper, not having any "superiors" makes this a moot point for me personally. ;)


P.S. I tried to edit this post into my previous post but the filtering system that is website employs seems to be going bonkers, atm. 8-O



cyberdad
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23 Sep 2019, 2:21 am

Pepe wrote:
Like Sheldon Lee Cooper, not having any "superiors" makes this a moot point for me personally. ;)


I work for myself nowadays but while I don't have superiors I do have clients and they evaluate me so always have to keep them happy



SharonB
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23 Sep 2019, 8:18 am

cyberdad wrote:
There's an old addage to "speak when you are spoken to" which is useful in a workplace where you have a micro-manager or authoritarian/psychopathic manager.

When I read the Guide to Asperger's, I'm the kid in class who raised her hand too much. Ironically I get called out by folks at work, including my authoritarian manager, when I am quiet because it is very much against my norm. "What's wrong?" "Oh---- nothing, just trying to be like the rest of you..."



JustFoundHere
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23 Sep 2019, 2:54 pm

Anybody consider (or have applied) Mental Aikido (LINK)?

LINK: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aikido#Mental_training



League_Girl
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23 Sep 2019, 3:42 pm

Quote:
To be clear.
You do realise this was a movie, right?
Had it been a documentary the poster would have said, err, "documentary", surely.


It truly happened to a girl named Marie and that is her middle name but they gave her that name in the movie when they decided to make the story into a movie. But she part of the story but the main movie was about these two journalists trying to catch a serial rapist and this really did happen. You can look it up online and it will tell you this was a true story. It wasn't just a movie.


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SaveFerris
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23 Sep 2019, 3:50 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Quote:
To be clear.
You do realise this was a movie, right?
Had it been a documentary the poster would have said, err, "documentary", surely.


It truly happened to a girl named Marie and that is her middle name but they gave her that name in the movie when they decided to make the story into a movie. But she part of the story but the main movie was about these two journalists trying to catch a serial rapist and this really did happen. You can look it up online and it will tell you this was a true story. It wasn't just a movie.


Here's what Netflix changed from the real story

https://screenrant.com/unbelievable-net ... y-changes/

And the pigs totally gaslit her

It was a good watch although painful viewing


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cyberdad
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23 Sep 2019, 5:16 pm

SharonB wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
There's an old addage to "speak when you are spoken to" which is useful in a workplace where you have a micro-manager or authoritarian/psychopathic manager.

When I read the Guide to Asperger's, I'm the kid in class who raised her hand too much. Ironically I get called out by folks at work, including my authoritarian manager, when I am quiet because it is very much against my norm. "What's wrong?" "Oh---- nothing, just trying to be like the rest of you..."


Yes this is a conundrum. My personality doesn't do well in a hierarchical workforce where management behave like aristocratic royalty. I like to speak openly with all but even colleagues can be picky/choosy if they are social climbing and don't see me as a good networking opportunity. Working with NT people requires a lot of social skills and resilience but it's possible to manage.



SharonB
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23 Sep 2019, 6:23 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Working with NT people requires a lot of social skills and resilience but it's possible to manage.

8)



Pepe
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23 Sep 2019, 8:47 pm

cyberdad wrote:
SharonB wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
There's an old addage to "speak when you are spoken to" which is useful in a workplace where you have a micro-manager or authoritarian/psychopathic manager.

When I read the Guide to Asperger's, I'm the kid in class who raised her hand too much. Ironically I get called out by folks at work, including my authoritarian manager, when I am quiet because it is very much against my norm. "What's wrong?" "Oh---- nothing, just trying to be like the rest of you..."


Yes this is a conundrum. My personality doesn't do well in a hierarchical workforce where management behave like aristocratic royalty. I like to speak openly with all but even colleagues can be picky/choosy if they are social climbing and don't see me as a good networking opportunity. Working with NT people requires a lot of social skills and resilience but it's possible to manage.


Thank the lord I am in early retirement!
Working life is hell when you are on the spectrum and have executive functioning deficit.



cyberdad
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23 Sep 2019, 9:53 pm

Yeah I get it...



SharonB
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23 Sep 2019, 11:54 pm

Pepe wrote:
Thank the lord I am in early retirement!
Working life is hell when you are on the spectrum and have executive functioning deficit.

That's where I am now (and yes, I have EF problems too). I look forward to a respite from it.

How fantastic you are in retirement! I hope it's going well (enough). I may have to figure out "early retirement" for myself also.