Would anybody like a tarot reading?

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I'll be honest Fnord. It's not that I have anything against you, because I really do admire you a lot. But how do I know you're not planning on tricking me again? You said so yourself that your only interest in this stuff is to prove that it's fake. Is 'Naia' even a real person?

It's not meant as an insult to you at all. But I know how you feel about this stuff.

I would like to get in line for a reading as well. I am legit interested in this stuff, astrology and occult in general.

I am 30 and a capricorn btw. I am mostly interested in career related stuff but you can do a general reading as well, what ever you prefer.

Nicely done Fnord, nicely done... (the Forer Effect)
Extra points for the verbatim content, confirming the effect.

I don't care either way tbh, it is just fun and doesn't have to have a deep meaning behind it. I just have fun doing readings and getting my fortune told.

@Kingofspades: I hope you don't get discouraged and can do a reading for me.

Ok! I think I will do a reading for both Fnord's cat Naia and AprilR today once I have a moment to sit down and concentrate.

It might take me a moment but I will get it done I promise. I love to practice my skills with reading cards.

Ok Fnord and AprilR, I want to try something different for you guys loosely based on a YouTube reading I watched.

Using just the four Kings, four crystals, and only the Major Arcana cards. I want you guys to pick one King card and I shall read the three cards laid underneath that king.

The four choices you have are:

King of Cups with a clear quartz crystal: For matters of love, family, friends, the home, etc.

King of Pentacles with a goldstone: For matters of money, sex, material wealth, pleasures, etc.

King of Wands with an ammonite fossil: For matters of work, learning, ambition, goals in life, etc.

King of Swords with an obsidian chip: For matters regarding obstacles in your life, wisdom, tragedy, the power of intellect, etc.

Just pick a single card and I will get back to you guys after reading them.


And I finally figured out how to upload photos! I apologize if the photo quality isnt the best though...

Wow this is exciting! King of Wands for me

For AprilR



I pulled The Tower, Temperence in reverse, and Stength.

In regards to your career goals, I think you fear that you may be out of a job soon? Or you may already be out of one? The Tower which I'm sure you know refers to calamity and disaster. I think it refers to all this turmoil regarding the pandemic that has put people out of work or forced them to work from home. It has disrupted so many lives unfortunately...

Anyways things for you feel out of balance right now. You may be feeling the pressure on you to either keep your job or to find another one. This has led to mental fatigue and stress, and I'm wondering if you may suffer from bipolar disorder the same as I do? The Temperence card stands for balance and harmony and when in reverse it means throwing things our of balance (like for example a chemical imbalance in the brain which is why I suggested Bipolar Disorder which some Aspies can develop later in life).

Finally I see a good card! The Strength Card. A woman gently taming a savage lion. In the end you will find the courage and strength to hold everything together. So you dont have much to worry about. If you find yourself fighting to keep your job or trying to find more work you will be able to do so. You are pretty strong and courageous even if you may not always realize this.

So even though you are facing hard times like many of us, I believe things will turn out ok for you in the end.

Thank you so much!

I admit i was a bit scared when i saw Tower but with the pandemic and what came before it it makes sense. I also feel off balance nowadays and i highly suspect i May have bpd. I am glad to see strength there too, it is one of my fav cards along with the High priestess! Seeing it relieved me a lot.

Overall i think the cards sums up the past, present and the future(hopefully) pretty well.
I am unenployed rn and don't know what to do in regards to my career much. But i kind of know that if i manage to find a job everything Will be better. Despite everything i stili like my job.

Again, thank you so much!

For Naia: King of Cups with a clear quartz crystal.

Ok Fnord! Here is what I interpret the cards are saying about you and your cat Naia

I have a solid black cat too btw, a black shorthair named Friday. We actually own several cats but he's my baby.

Anyways here is what I think the cards are saying, though to be honest I get the feeling these are speaking more to your personal life than they are about Naia...




For you I pulled Judgement in reverse, The Lovers in reverse, and The Fool.

Since the King of Cups (& Hearts by his cartomancy equivalent) relates to a family man and family/marital issues. I think these cards are piecing together a story of a man who has made poor judgements in the past in regards to his family or friends

The Lovers in reverse shows me a fragile marriage or relationship that has been tested. There may be disharmony in the home and possibly even talks of divorce or splitting up with your spouse.

Finally The Fool I think shows that you are ready to move on. If things fall apart, they fall apart. But you will see new opportunity in a fresh start. And you will have Naia at least to comfort you. In a way you're like the man in this card facing the world with his dog companion by his side, only in your case it is your cat Naia. The great thing about pets is that they always seem to love and appreciate their masters who feed them and care for them. Unlike people who can often be harder to please. Am I right?

Thank you.  You could be well-describing my first marriage, thus making your reading more than 30 years out-of-date, but reasonably accurate.  Plus, it is a fairly well-known fact that I even had a previous marriage, so no surprises there.  Finally, practically every marriage gets "tested" at least once -- some marriages survive the testing, some do not.

Great generalizations, by the way!  Good job!  Never get too specific in your readings unless you can see your clients' physical reactions to them -- a blush, a twitch, a bite of the lip -- then you can elaborate in whatever direction those reactions take you.

Now, try something predictive with the King of Clubs (or its equivalent).

I'm glad you actually enjoyed it Fnord!

Ok, I will reshuffle the Major Arcana cards and do you another reading based on the King of Wands (I'm guessing you wish to know about your career or retirement?) But first I gotta cook lunch for my family so it may take a little bit. Be patient.