Nothing serious, but what the hell...
As a kid:
-Smashed Middle Finger on right hand three times, losing nail all three times.
-Smashed Middle Finger on left hand, losing nail.
-Cracked skull open when wagon tipped over, resulting in bloody red hair and twelve stitches.
-Knocked Right Knee into center table, resulting in permanent scar.
-All four Wisdom Teeth extracted, during which my heart rate got so low they panicked and thought I was dying.
For the most part, completely healthy until college, when the floodgates opened:
-Sliced Right Pointer Finger on glass while picking up garbage and recycling as part of summer landscaping job, resulting in four stitches.
-Dislocated Right Ring Finger twice. The second time, it switched positions on my hand.
-Bit by Black Widow that was living in the loft I built for my dorm room. Lower Right Leg swelled up and turned red. They claim if I hadn't come in when I did, I might have lost my leg. Ironically, I was docked a letter grade for missing class the day I did go in. That was how strict they were in the University of Miami School of Architecture.
-Fractured Right Knee where my ligament tore the tip of the bone off, but not completely. They said I should have torn the ligament instead. This happened while playing basketball and I blocked a guy's shot up against the backboard when I had "hops". When I came down, my Right Leg landed in between his legs, which scissored mine. Spent a month in a full leg cast, which sucked for getting to class, especially with no friends to help.
-Right ACL partial tear while skiing.
-Right Meniscus shredded while skiing (same incident).
-Avulsion Fracture of my Right Ankle from a slap shot I blocked in Hockey.
-Right ACL complete obliteration while playing Hockey. It did not even show up on the MRI anymore. I finished the season wearing my brace from the partial tear seven years earlier. My team was in first and Hockey is the only sport I played competitively that I do not have a trophy in. We lost in the playoffs as the #1 seed, which sucked. Reconstruction was cool, finally getting it fixed after seven years of living with a brace and having it give out all the time due to the partial tear.
-Left Meniscus tear fixed.
-Non-malignant Tumor in throat removed.
-Hit by other car resulting in numbness and burning in neck, spine, and lower back. MRIs showed two bulging discs, one pinched nerve, a whole lot of advanced arthritis, scoliosis, and chifosis.
-Right Labrum Tear not fixed.
-Hiatal Hernia not fixed.
-All four corners of my two big toes chronically ingrown. Three of the four have been permanently removed in the past year. The fourth will occur when it gets ingrown next.
-Thirteen non-malignant polyps removed from colon.
-Anxiety attacks started last fall resulting in multiple series of heart tests, even though I told them it was anxiety.
-Ulcer at bottom of colon still present.
-Screws from ACL Reconstruction had to be removed since my body decided to grow extraneous bone between my Tibia and Fibula, which fractured where the lower screw stuck out. The Tibia and Fibula are now fused together.
-Left Rotator Cuff Tear newly discovered.
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I won?t tell anyone else how to be
You can be yourself, but just let me be me