darkstone100 wrote:
heres a question about one of your other avatars, who the heck was GM Dave?
A fictional Game Master (hence GM) for Final Fantasy XI, which is, of course, a mumorperger (as Yahtzee would put it). He's a bit like Bernard Black in that he likes to get drunk and deal with customers in a very unsatisfactory (to the customer, at least) manner.
He has a blog called Bannable Offences. I'll copy one of the best entries.
GM Dave wrote:
Back to Business
Okay, that didn't happen.
It didn't.
Let's move on.
So, this morning I was doing my usual server maintenance (read: turning servers on and off at random), when I got a GM call from a player.
A player named Sefferoth.
GM Call Description: I'm too stupid to live. Feed me to a dragon.
Okay, so that's not exactly what it said. But with a name like that, he was practically asking for it.
Suddenly, I was struck by an idea, an epiphany. Suddenly, a marvelous, beautiful, terrible thing laid itself out before my mind.
Oh, this was going to be fun.
I did a quick server search, selected the appropriate players and warped them all to Mordion Gaol.
*warpaga*
And there they stood, a legion of morons with Sephiroth rip off names. A legion of players with a base IQ just above that of a cheese sandwich.
[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurers.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you 're all too stupid to come up with your own name.
[GM]Dave>> We're not sure if this is due to naturally low IQ
[GM]Dave>> Or being dropped as a child.
[GM]Dave>> Results are pending.
[GM]Dave>> Does anyone have any questions?
Seppiroth>> Why are we all here?
Jormungand hits Seppiroth for 9,693 points of damage.
Seppiroth was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> Any more questions?
[GM]Dave>> Anybody?
Sefirot>> You can't do this!
Jormungand hits Sefirot for 8,751 points of damage.
Sefirot was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> Anybody else?
Seppheroth>> That wasn't a question.
Jormungand hits Seppheroth for 9,226 points of damage.
Seppheroth was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> Neither was that.
[GM]Dave>> Any more questions?
*silence*
[GM]Dave>> Good.
[GM]Dave>> Alright, you are all about to take part in a new event.
[GM]Dave>> One of you has been given an "S" Egg item.
[GM]Dave>> You have also all been set to PvP.
[GM]Dave>> Whoever has the "S" Egg at the end, gets to keep their name.
[GM]Dave>> Everyone else gets their character deleted.
I wonder how stupid these people really are.
[GM]Dave>> Are there any questions?
Sseferroth>> So all we do is find the egg?
Jormungand hits Sseferroth for 9,148 points of damage.
Sseferroth was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> So... no questions, I assume.
[GM]Dave>> Good. Go.
After that, Mordion Gaol became complete anarchy. N00bs killing n00bs. Abbreviations and misspellings gave way to screams of pain.
I almost cried it was so beautiful.
I really should have given one of those idiots an "S" Egg.
So, I left them to their little event and warped to the next Mordion Gaol room.
[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurers.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you 're all too stupid to come up with your own name.
[GM]Dave>> Are there any questions?
Clowd>> Why are we all here?
Damn, I love this job some days.
(Blog written by GM Dave)
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(No longer a mod)
On sabbatical...
18 Oct 2008, 3:55 pm
