What Happens If Your Out Of Toilet Paper ????

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Sorry about the double post. My browser crashed on me.

Yeah don't be mean. I've done that as well. It works well, and the socks get cleaned anyway!

EXCELLENT thread!! !! !! !! !!

i usually try to tiptoe around, on an embarassing-as-hell search for a paper napkin or something.

i have wiped my ass with magazines.

my brother told me that he once had to shower his ass, and scoop s**t w his fingers!

again, EXCELLENT thread!! !!

you got a spontaneous "LOL" from that hat comment.

i SO love threads like these.

i love imagining everyone of you tiptoeing around, trying not to spill poop on the floor, looking for something to wipe your asses with

We sell a book that talks about this at work.

It's like something along the lines of 'How to Survive without TP in a Public Restroom'.

PLAN A: Call for assistance.

PLAN B: If assistance is not available, use the cardboard roll. It's better than nothing, right?

PLAN C: If a cardboard roll is not available, try reaching or waddling to the paper towel dispenser.

PLAN D: If plans A, B, and C are unsuccessful, be careful, but find the cleanest used paper towels in the garbage can. Who knows? Maybe they were only used to dry off clean hands (hope for this).

PLAN E: If all else fails (or you refuse to try Plan D), stick your bum up on the sink and rinse it off.


I hope this post can be of help to anyone who ever finds themselves in this situation.

I've been in emergency situations(in the woods mostly) where i needed to improvise. I always carry a pocket knife, so on more than one occasion I've come home with no socks or underwear. They work much better if you cut them in half. Plus you don't have to actually take your underwear off, you just cut them off.

I'm surprised nobody posted that old diarrhea song from elementary school.

When you're sittin' on the toilet,
And the toilet paper's gone,
Be a man!
Use your hands!
Diarrhea!

Seriously though, if there's no TP to be found, I just jump in the shower and hose myself clean.

If I am at home on my own toilet the answer is simple. Remove whatever am I am wearing, reach over and turn on the facet in the tube and get the water warm, switch on the shower and step in. The shower head is one of those on a hose, so that I can take it from its hook, hold it in my hand and point it anywhere. It makes me feel much cleaner than toilet paper alone would. So, I tend to do this even when I have already used toilet paper.

This thread!