Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! (ASPIE STYLE!)

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I would kill you

does God exist?

As far as I'm concerned, he does.

How many centuries have you been around for?

exactly 0.26 centuries on friday



Are Risk Assesments really necessary

Only if you like want assesment risks!

How do clows taste?

I don't know. I've never tasted one.

Would you go out, with a burly rebel, like me?

I'd go to the pub witcha CR, iffin they got veggie samiches.

Do you like veggie samiches?

Yes it's my favourite pet.

Is zombie door out to get you?

Zombie doors are always chasing me.


If I knock on a zombie door, how long will it take to open?

KHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAN!! !!


KHHHHHAAAAN, KHAAAAAAN!! !! How many of those does it take to screw in a lightbulb/.

Usually four.

What do you have against a jolly, kind-hearted rebel, like me?

Nothing! I'd probably like you if I knew you better, in part because you're a jolly, kind-hearted rebel.

Why is there a pyramid on the dollar bill, with a free-floating top that has an eye in it?

cos the eye will hurt a lot if it rests on the tip of the pyramid

how did bill gates come up w microsoft windows??

He has a temper and had got sick of breaking all these big windows and hurting himself in the process, so he decided to come up with a Micro Soft version that would be nice and small but not hurt you when they break?


Why do charities keep sending me mail with a penny in telling me that, that the penny in this envelope could save a persons life instead of keeping those pennies and using them to save peoples lives?

Because logic took a holiday when they were sealing up the envelopes.

Where did logic take a holiday to?

To Majorca, because everybody does, and logic is a very mainstream thing.

Why can't I be a rock star?

Because you are not real big.

Why cannot I be a small rock star?