What's on your mind right now?

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Thank you AB! I appreciate it! I didn't know if it was a lowkey insult, a blatant insult, or small talk. In any event I wanted to tell her it was none of her business but I didn't know what to say without appearing rude.

Thank goodness I was in a rush to leave so I just told her I couldn't chat and I drove away.

I keep my hair really nice in lots of pretty styles. Quite often I wear it up in twists etc.

The weirdest thing was "people will be confused about your age" --- lol, as an autistic woman I always feel that vibe. My personality is young, and I act young (feel young), but I also have a daughter nearly 25. I think the sensation of being an adolescent trapped in an adult body is common for people on the spectrum.

Maybe that's what she was picking up on from me, like an uncanny valley?

I want to save "Blacky".

I feel you on the adolescent trapped in an adult's body IsabellaLinton. I feel like that a lot and yes it is a common thing for us on the spectrum but hey, even if you cut your hair you might still get the same result from others so might as well own it!

I tend to feel no older than 15-17.

Exactly! I don't think my hair is the issue! I think the neighbour can sense my age dichotomy but doesn't know I'm autistic, so she can't figure out what's causing the disconnect. She attributes it to my hair. This is actually pretty interesting to think about as an autism topic. People can tell there's something different about us but they don't know what it is.

My ASD diagnostician told me that emotionally and socially, I never passed adolescence. Of course I have the skills to be a mother, own a home, and I worked fulltime etc. In terms of life experience and exhaustion / trauma I feel like a very accomplished adult, but on the inside I'm still just a nerdy and shy adolescent. It's interesting because age 14 is when I lost my only friend group and became a loner, so I guess I didn't progress past that stage of development on the inside.

I also felt like I'm 8-12.
But something is still changing within me.

Since I can't develop in a traditional way, I would just have to find another way how.



Seamless integration between my notebook st several daily habit trackers.

My money from my lucky break.
So far I've spent most of it to stuff I couldn't get while working with salary.

If I never have to hold back about spending money, I would've gone to ask a neurologist and have a sleep study.
Or get a nutritionist and an endocrinologist.

And..
Bored enough to get old vegetables from the fridge, cut them all open, and then plant all it's seeds. See if the damn pests still comes.

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Recently I've been finding dirt on everything and I can't enjoy anything anymore. Everything just sucks.

The big project that I've been putting off (finishing packing up my stuff, so I can get it all out of the house I'm living in, so the house can be sold).

Some plans...

I would be departing for a whole day or so tomorrow.

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I went to another job interview and i will get the news today, whether i am accepted or not.

I am very nervous since they seemed like very social people, meeting and socializing with their clients and stuff and apparently they also accept criminal cases and i don't know much about criminal law. My ocd is acting up and I am not sure whether i will be happier if i am accepted or not. I hope it will be good for me either way.

Potential is not owed.
And who gets to decide what potentials are and are for?

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I wish the blocking function on here actually worked.