Make an extremely dark joke.

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“I have good and bad news,” the doctor said to his patient.

“Give me the good news first,” the patient said.

“Your test results are back,” the doctor said, “and you have only two days to live.”

“That’s the good news?” the patient exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

I laughed harder than I should of at that

Had to google sooie.

OMG Wash your mouth out IF , nice joke

"When I die, I want to go quietly in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming, like the passengers in his car." -Emo Philips

I was going to donate blood today, but they wouldn't stop asking me all these really personal questions.
like "Whose blood is this? And "Where did you get it?".

People are like trees...
They fall when you hit them multiple times with an ax.


How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.


What do genders and the twin towers have in common? There used to be two of them but now it's too offensive to talk about.


Why did the kid kick the stool?
To hang himself.


How did Helen Keller burn her hands?
She tried to read her waffle iron.


Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?


You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favour of condoms...
less DNA evidence.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Answer: Because it was dead.

Why was it dead?

Answer: Because it fell out of the tree.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer: To get to the other side.

Why did the frog cross the road?

Answer: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

It was only this year that I found out this joke had another meaning

other side = other side of the road

other side = the after life

Oh yes!!

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

SaveFerris,

That joke is actually quite old. The names of countries drastically changed since the 1980s when I first read that joke. It used to be "Hungarians and Yugoslavs." Now they're Serbs, Croats, Slovenians and the like.

^ well it was a new one on me and it gave me a giggle. It was even more funnier that it came from you as you never post things like that

I find the 'out of character' thing funny

It is out of character for me to post sexual/ethnic content, but not out of character entirely because it integrates a few special interests, medical and geographical/ethnic/cultural names and places.

I guess this is my year for that joke too, because I never knew there was a dual meaning. The last explanation I got was that it was funny because it didn't deliver an expected punchline, or the joke is that there is no joke.

Now it finally makes sense!

He was so short, that if he ran too quickly his shoelaces would poke him in the eyes.