What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

Okay scratch Raliegh off the list.

Raliegh
------
------
-------
-------



Not knowing how many people you consider friends, I don't who it could be ....It's like that game:

Show Spoiler

You wouldn't know him.

Well, If they post here. Maybe I've seen them around. Or maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree, who knows.

I don't make videos so bots can advertise their pornographic scams in the comment section. The comments are locked down for three days after uploading as a result. So far, it works.

I did one half of one set of glute exercises yesterday, so one butt cheek has been exercised and the other, not. Can't motivate myself to even things out.

Missing a friend. Heard from a facebook post a while ago that they were doing well. Kinda wish we were close enough that I didn't have to hear about that kind of thing from a facebook post. Still, missing them.

I don't know how I could ever live in this messed up world and be happy.

Was reminded by someone of a project I did twenty years ago. Got a lot of unfocused attention over it, which was kinda cool. But once there was a possibility of getting actual recognition for it, I shied away. Didn't want the spotlight. Was reminded of that, too.

I think I’ve discovered that I’m a 12 yo boy trapped in a 63 yo’s body. At 12, I decided to internalize and live by the processing. I’m living through cpstd incurring event and positive its all my fault. I was involved both times he put mom in the hospital. The shutdowns start to reoccur and hormones are starting to flow. All my memories prior to 12 are mostly stressless except for a 6 month period where it ended with a event of extreme relief. After 12, I’m stressed in most of my memories.

I matured in life thru my masked mind, thinking I was normal. My name even changed at this time. A new middle school with class changes every hour. I’ve always gone by my middle name but Mom wrote my full name on the papers. I corrected the teacher each class for a week then just gave up and became my first name for school and middle for family.

So now I have a clue that I am different, I think I’m regressing back to being 12yo. I have to push to be an adult now instead of blocking out the 12 yo. I’ve strengthened my honesty with myself and others by self introspection. I’ve learned to reframe my lows and to just enjoy the highs. The 12 yo scares me since that’s it, that is as far as go.

How to tell if someone likes you, in case you doubt your own good sense, is just easily googleable.

When can I start the screaming, God?

Just had a haircut.

From a good 20+ inch long, to a bob pixie cut.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.