What's on your mind right now?

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There's things that I feel like I should do because it's the right thing to do, but I don't need to do them. When I do it, it upsets me greatly. I don't know wether I should or not.

Did I fail a test in May?

The month started with what I thought was a positive experience that would make you more willing to talk to me. You expressed reservations that we'd be able to fill the time with conversation. It turned out better than that, didn't it? I know I'm not as much fun as other people, but this was okay enough that you could talk to me...occasionally...for short durations...maybe?

Mid month you called to chat for the first and only time ever. Probably only to make up for my not being in the loop, but I'm still counting the call as a positive experience. Am I wrong? For you it was just a chore, wasn't it? You know my reluctance to make the call is exactly what I've told you it is, right? I don't call because I don't think you want me to. What follows doesn't exactly dissuade me.

The next day you lied to me to make sure I'd leave.



And the next day you refused to talk to me.

A few days later you laughed about it and gave me the cold shoulder. Also made it clear that I could text, but not call. Text...because that's gone so well for me. This was the first time I told you I didn't call because I didn't think you wanted me to, but that I'd like to talk, and you didn't even acknowledge that I said it.

But even after that you recount the start of the month as a positive experience. Effusively.

I'm confused. Did I fail a test?

Last edited by TenMinutes on 20 Mar 2022, 8:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

^ I did no such thing.

Not sure why you asked me for help with the pavers. Not exactly something I have experience with. This was an opportunity for me to hear...something...right? Did I miss it? Why did you ask me for help? Why was I there? He was nice to you while I was there. Best behavior? Or was this a demonstration for him? That it took the help of a middle aged friend to get the job done? You're gonna have to tell me if I'm supposed to notice more than I am.

^ I never, guv'nor!! ! It was him over there!

I’m looking at a couple different canoes for consideration for my trip, rather than my trusty 13 foot Mohawk. I’ll try them in the pond and next weekend, we’ll go out to the creek or a larger pond for further experimentation.

I’ve been working on strength and reviving muscle memory, trying different kinds of equipment. I think I’ve settled on the river - in Ontario.

I miss my dog and rabbit.

You're not going to like where I've gone with it, but since I'm going alone, you don't get a say in it.

Last edited by TenMinutes on 21 Mar 2022, 5:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, for several of our meetups I didn't bring a snack to share, and you did one of your group lessons to teach me it was appropriate to bring something. There are two problems. One, I didn't bring something because I don't plan ahead enough to have something to bring, and I don't even buy snacks for myself. Not planning ahead is depression, not a lapse in generosity. Two, how many times did I bring pizza? From a real pizzeria? How many times did I treat to pizza downtown? Did the driving? Paid the parking? The tip? Any idea how much the props cost? Driving to Chicago? A couple nights in a hotel? Con membership for the entire club? Yeah, though, I didn't bring snacks. Sorry.

Thanks for taking my call and spending time listening and offering advice. This part is genuine. It's been more than a year. Thanks for checking in on me. This part is sarcasm.

It was awkward that you told me M was uninvited to the gaming sessions. Awkward because you'll note that I'm uninvited, too.

^
While it's good to get anger out, you might be happier by not fixating on every (perceived) slight.

Thank you for explaining the event y'all were discussing. I was feeling kinda left out. Yeah, it mighta been appropriate to invite me. Next time, right?

I haven't heard of anyone else having trouble leaving a message, but thanks for telling me I missed my invite because you couldn't leave a message. Yeah, I'm sure it was a technical problem. I'll look into that. Thanks.

You know how your brain can only hold onto like 7 things? That kinda makes thinking about this s**t a never ending task for me. The problem doesn't fit in my brain, so I keep rehashing it. By writing about it, I fully describe the problem, so that it gets fully thought through and doesn't have to be re-loaded to work on again, so I don't have to keep thinking about it.

I don't form new topics for these things, because to other people they are not worth the consideration. So I put them all in the "what's on your mind" thread, because, like, it's what's on my mind. Or the "what made you unhappy" thread, because, like, these things make me unhappy.

Sorry if I'm being a pest.

For some of these problems, they aren't resolved until I figure out why they are even bothering me. Others are resolved once they are put into words, because it's clear why they bother me. Some people I give a pass to for the same behavior that gets me upset with someone else. Those kinda have to be figured out, because it seems unfair.

I'm not really getting, or even seeking, input or commiseration, so I suppose I don;t have to do this here. These are the kinda of things I and others have asked for help on, but they're unlikely to get that attention in larger threads, so perhaps this is pointless. Sorry for the trouble.



Every now and then they are simple but important enough, almost poetic, and might form the basis of a song.

I think you'll find this whole thread (and the unhappy one) full of things like this, but mine are sometimes worded conversationally rather than descriptively, and I tend to do them in batches. Again, sorry. And they could probably be condensed into fewer posts. I tend to start a new one for each person or group discussed, but I could combine them. I never intend to post more than a little bit, though. It just kinda comes in spurts. Sorry.