What's on your mind right now?

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Have to function today… and need to get up interest in Doing that ,durn spine and leg may wish to argue with me about . Being up and going out and about and doing stuff. Last minute emergency toilet seat replacement .
For house guest coming ….. a new extra anxiety comes from having people in my house for extended visits .
Gotta stay distracted .

"There's no such thing as no communication. If someone you know ... goes long periods of time, and they don't speak to you, that communicates something."

--Dr. Carter

Not a single post in this previously very active sub-forum ('Random Discussion') for about four hours. What's happening to this site?

What's not happening here might be a more relevant question, lol.

I was asleep and having nightmares, sorry.

I'm awake and having daymares now (which are on my mind).

I was out seeing clients today, preserving budget, making last minute arrangements, putting out a fire or two.

Now, I just want to sleep. Zzzz….

This month, my sleep times is near same by average, and yet is an hour shorter in average.

And... I had disproportionately spent more than I had earned or received.
Why?? I'm still doing "projects", many exists years ago. And as soon as this month ends, which is the very next day from then on, I won't have any of those until my birthday, which is a month and few weeks from now.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I hope Alexei Maklyukov is okay.

Still sleepy. Almost impossible for me to meet today’s deadlines. What to leave in, what to leave out? And at what cost?

I've been having naps the past few days during the day, actual naps rather than micro-sleeps, which I haven't done for a long time, and not much terror seeping through blinds. Why? I can't say. Maybe I'm just catching up from all of the sleepless nights and nightmares over the past year or so. Which I guess would be a good sign.

My shadows caught up with me long ago and they were left behind in the hospital, which is on my mind (memories for the present-blind). I went back years later and they weren't there anymore. I've been healed the entire time. Which will have no relevance to anything or anyone but me mostly, so just those mentally, emotionally, tangentially, words for the abyss.

Monotropism

Today I am feeling the loss, losses to myself, losses for others, losses of children and friends and lovers. Of the seven children I helped raise, there is only one who has reestablished contact and communication. It's not the same as when she was little and hugged me so tightly. But I am so glad to know that she has grown up into a thoughtful and caring woman.

I think of my friend who lives alone and is now in a wheelchair in a home where she can't reach anything. The sinks are too high, the counters are too high, she knocks things over, she can barely transfer from her wheelchair to the toilet and back. The loss of ordinary functioning. I think about that.

And then I also think about how grateful I am at this moment: the rising sun over my shoulder and the swallow-tailed kites soaring with the buzzards, the old black lab at my feet, the tabby cat on my lap nuzzling me wanting a cuddle and Brewer the gray cat stretching in the sun and a nesting in bed of raked leaves. I am here in my little oasis of woods and swamp and I have so very very much to be grateful for.

Relatively Peaceful.. here at the old homestead. Today many Daffodils blooming , Soon more will come to bloom .
Nice change from the last 13 yrs .

Doors were open that I closed. Lights were off that I turned on. I recall jumping out of bed. I guess I was sleepwalking again.

My aunts really fickle cat is starting to like me and consistently come to me for attention.

taxes due

tattletale tom

asm don

litterbox court jester

sister e-mailed me TLDR in response to my e-mail. not having anyone to talk to is one thing. but nobody will even answer my essays.

destroyed my "life" a longf**k time ago

graceful degradation

colostomy bag

zero occupational prospects

lost interest in everything a long time ago

even cory hasn't e-mailed since december last year

appetite gone haywire

impending doom

wounded

zero sum game