What's on your mind right now?

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Random musings. About hidden prerequisites.

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Just seriously fearing my future. I want to commit suicide after my parents die.

My imminent assessment by social services

My imminent video premiere that may be critical to my future and the future of other autistics

AprilR - Wishing you the very best and doing all I can to advance the lives of autistics. Take care, Best wishes,

Jim

Jimberry and the Couscous (Youtuber - premiere referenced at 4pm GMT in approximately forty minutes from now!)

It's been years since I've worn any footwear that isn't an open toed sandals or a pair flipflops.

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I didn't get much sleep.

I was curious if AI was being used to detect theft at self checkout and I see that it is, but mostly not, and people are stealing stuff using easy to guess means. In fact, when asked anonymously, 1 in 5 people say they have stolen stuff in the self checkout line. 1 in 5! And the losses amount to about 4% in value. You pay for that in higher prices.

I discovered accidentally at one particular grocery store with a conveyor belt after the scan that an unscanned item placed on the belt would normally cause it to stop and tell you to scan the item, sometimes erroneously, but also that if you placed on the belt an item that weighed the same as the last item, just as the last item was about to move off the belt at the end, that it wouldn't complain. I figured it would be easy to pay for every other item this way. That's why I was curious if these things had gotten more sophisticated.

My first day at work went okay, but also was sort of confusing and hectic.

I helped an old friend who's like a younger brother over the weekend. It's like he's living the life I'll never be able to have. My minds like a sponge and I've rubbed shoulders with literal geniuses but I can't hold everything together with a broken mind. He went from living on the streets to owning his first home, I've been teaching him how to do home repairs and I used my experience of being a furniture mover to get him out of his apartment. I'm not jealous but I'm just feeling alot if self hate.

Wanting to rest …..and hope to get well.

Honestly how much I hate tik tok and their abuse of autistics and other differently able people for clout and grifting. I'd get the latest from a commentary youtuber but it's cringe

Same as before .. but a different day .

I don't understand some of my failures. Just made a snack I've made probably fifty times before. It calls for vanilla. Flip cap, tip bottle, quite a bit pours out, but it's a small hole, so it's controlled. What would cause me to unscrew the top instead of flipping it open, and pouring it uncontrolled? How does that even happen? Ruined the snack, and wasted probably $4 worth of vanilla.

The training for my job is basically nonexistent at this point and I'm getting sorta pissed off already. No one single person is training me and my coworkers don't tell me things until I mess up. I don't mind the job, but it'd be A LOT easier if I wasn't basically just left to figure it out. It seems like everyone just expects me to ask my aunt what to do during breaks, but she's not my supervisor and she has her own stuff to take care of at work.

I’m in a mess.

PMDD sounds to make sense a little too much for me.
Ranging from hormonal sensitivities to ADD-like symptoms caused by it.

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