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i cant take it

i did the wrong things in life thinking it would take me further when it didnt

2 people manipulated and gaslighted me prolonging everything for years

i cant take it. i have nobody

absolutely nobody

my friends werent there for me either

i am not autistic.

i cant take the disrespect anhymore or the hatred from my mother. it hurts deeply andnobdy understands this and how much i am emotionally wrekced from this. it always hurts and i cant get rid of it . its even worse wen people dont believe me.

i cant take being excluded, rejection anymore

i really cant take it from anyone . life has been miserable the last several years and i f*****g TRIED SO HARD TO GET OUT OR RESOLVE EVERYTHING.

i went around to different people for advice but nobody cares and when they do they cant give anything specific.

and theres people who insist they want the truth when they dont so nobody tells me what i really need to know.

i tried.

and i tried gods know how much in different ways to figure it out myself

i cant take it from anyone anymore

i dont like people i dont like the autistic community , irl either

I'm having cold sweats and cold flashes.

Poor appetite
Drinking coffee
Listening to The British Invasion
Longing for my college days

That's not like me, is it?

I didn't realize it until today, but I think that I may have gotten a concussion during the accident. I've been having a lot of issues lately that are apparently concussion symptoms.

To me, drinking coffee is a drug problem. Just one cup does amazing things.

I've been listening to the music of The British Invasion a lot more since I've started up on the coffee again. It makes me feel young.

No future

Zero "friends"

Day laborers

Pretty soon my worthless corpse will be too old, weak, slow, unhealthy, injured and disabled to do my dumpster fire "job" and I will be homeless

Second chances

Obstacle course

Seismographic output, Kayla b***h's grudge goes up and down like

Bull and bear markets

Grudges getting bigger like (compound interest). Not smaller like (carbon dating half life)

Lazy f**k coworkers. Afraid to tattle on them because "snitches get stitches", but last week I got a chipped tooth (injured) trying and failing to unload a tool. Either way I lose

Semantics and pragmatics

Diarrhea yesterday morning

Right now, defecation coming out in lil flakes

Skin flakes

Lil dips**ts completely misunderstood my worthless corpse

I miss counseling clinic and ASM Don

Impending doom

Need diversion, hobby, goals, friends, pen pal, cash

Wishing my brother well on the trip to Queensland.
Wishing I could have gone with him.
Wishing my daughter and I weren't sick.
Thankful for so much, at the same time.

We're going camping with some of my aunts friends. I'm so excited.

Obtained new glasses ordered online...
... Astigmatism angles are annoying. It makes near and far view either sharp or blurry seem inconsistent.

But that's likely my fault. Maybe it'll correct some of my habits with this glasses' configuration.
It has a very specific 'just right' spot and I figured where...

Strangely enough, I'm also more comfortable using my phone while wearing these glasses than any of my previous (no astigmatism) glasses.
Which is really weird...


And hasn't received my glass frame package.
I'm at work now. Can't go to the optometrist now, unless I call sick or something.

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If being sick, having hobbies, being tired and hurt is not within my means...

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.