Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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Coming back to School Miserable and bored already, I want to go home.

Lou

On a sad note: School starts this upcoming morning and I was just beginning to enjoy my recess. Add that to the fact that I am still mourning the death of a P. cambelli sungorus.

On an angrier note: Pathetic cold virus. I obviously had antibodies stored in some obscure, nondescript 'node and still it has to replicate and give me a mild cough, a few hours of mucus through the nose, and a light sore throat simply because my immune system was still searching for the antibody bearer.

i just remembered how stressful today was!

My back hurts already. Today is going to be ouchies.

I'm still not over the death of Pete Quaife and it's all my mum's fault. I can still hear that condescending tone over and over in my head. "They're old....people don't last forever!" 66 Is not old and I refuse to listen to today's pop stars just because they're young.

"You're awfully high-functioning."

No! That is not how trying to give compliments to those on the spectrum is done!

And I found that I was rejected from MIT without deferral. Maybe it would have helped if all the teachers submitted their recommendations on time and I figuratively played the special-needs card.

Ah well, there is always Stanford and graduate school. With Stanford (or Berkeley or San Diego, for that matter), it will be a lot easier and cheaper to come home. I am probably doing nothing but rationalizing at this point.

Maybe it's my fault because I was naive enough to trust my mum enough to tell her that news in the first place.

For the last 3 days, my tooth has felt jiggly. (a permanent one, obviously) So I would grind it against the other ones just to make it feel more loose and to feel the pain and to hear it click. (kinda even doing that right now).
But then, if the pain wasn't enough, I took it a step farther and start using my finger nails to dig into my gums until they started bleeding and even moreso so I could get a rush of adrenaline.

I know gums heal pretty fast, and I would never consider legitimate cutting with a knife...but this has gone for too many days and it's too addicting. Plus it might lead to cheek chewing and etc. Plus it feels really loose.

I do this when I am bored or frustrated or both.....help? What should I do to fix it. The endorphins are so addicting, and way easier than exercise (which I still do, this is when I can't because I don't want to get sweaty and eat more food).

-_- freaking addicting, aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Perhaps you could try to associate another minor pain (pressing wrist with finger pads, not tips or nails?) every time you do this and eventually do it without the routine with the gums and teeth? I do little things like these when feeling or reducing certain emotions to exert some control over the rebellious neurons.

[quote="kevinjh"]Perhaps you could try to associate another minor pain (pressing wrist with finger pads, not tips or nails?) every time you do this and eventually do it without the routine with the gums and teeth? I do little things like these when feeling or reducing certain emotions to exert some control over the rebellious neurons.[/quote

I'd probably take this pain method too far as well.

Everyone also said go to the dentist....interesting.

A possible problem with the dentist could be that the behavior still persists even after correction. It might be worth a try if the behavior stops after the problem with the loose tooth is resolved.

my comrades suggested i move out and advised me on how to do so which is not a bad thing. i appreciate the help and sentiment behind it but i dont know if i should or not or if im capable or not. my financial situation is not at all secure and getting money from centrelink is nigh impossible, i cant find work and i dont know if i can manage that and uni. the only other reason appart from my financial situation is my little sister. she's the reason i decided to stay way back when she was born. i dont want to leave her with my parents. either way i know someday it will not be a choice and i should prepare for that. i am worried.

My dad is the one who decide if I go to college this time...not mom + dad. He said if I got hurt (run over on my bike or something) that he would not be able to remain married to my mom and it would split up the family...

I hate my life....I just want to go to the university and escape home. So confused.

people do anything to avoid spending time alone with me. i feel like a leper and would like to go live under my bridge now pls.

weird messages.

seeing someone i used to go to school with but not knowing how to react immediately so blatantly ignoring them. god.