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MakaylaTheAspie
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09 Dec 2017, 7:52 pm

Raleigh wrote:
I wonder how those pastries would work gluten free dairy free sugar free?


I think it's possible!


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Kuraudo7777
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09 Dec 2017, 7:54 pm

I certainly hope so. I have a jar of multi-berry jam I've been saving just for making that pastry.


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Raleigh
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09 Dec 2017, 7:54 pm

You can get gluten free bread making flour.
Coconut oil instead of butter?
Or lard.
And why do you even need sugar with all those berries?
But you could use maple syrup or honey.


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Kuraudo7777
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09 Dec 2017, 7:57 pm

Yeah! Maybe I'll make them as a Christmas treat with my mum.


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Temeraire
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09 Dec 2017, 7:59 pm

Kuraudo7777 wrote:
I totally want to make this pastry. It looks so delicious. [Except for the lemons on the side. Ewwy.]

https://ff15wiki.com/wiki/Memory_Lane_Pastry


Yes, they look yummy.



Dragnet
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09 Dec 2017, 8:04 pm

You know ironically enough, I feel much worse lately then I have in years and ironically enough I am presenting myself some what okay.

By some what okay, I mean less suicidal.

Which I think gives the illusions that maybe being high everyday was the problem.

But it wasn't and I am not less suicidal, I guess maybe I am just learning a filter.

I actually hate my life more then anything right now.

Failure after failure, now I am burdened for life by failure, s**t no wonder I want to get high, f*****g get high and stop trying.

It was always broken, it was broken before drugs, doesn't take much to send me to the nut farm, cause I can never cope.

I am scarred forever.

I looked out from a height again the other day, seriously painful thought, not suicidal persay, I am always suicidal but having to walk away because I actually felt the fall.

Its all too real.

It never gets better, and when I look back, its just failure and I look foward, its just failure.

Instructions unclear, so its just failure.



MakaylaTheAspie
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09 Dec 2017, 8:06 pm

Maybe you should get some help, look up some nearby resources that you might be able to take advantage of. You don't deserve to be miserable.


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Raleigh
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09 Dec 2017, 8:07 pm

And right now you're here right now.


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Dragnet
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09 Dec 2017, 8:10 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
You don't deserve to be miserable.


Ha

So says the people that have made me more miserable.

Yes come get help so we can extract your insurance money.

No I would rather be alone, or as alone as I can be now.

That is alone plus thirty... for life...

I am fine, I was fine on drugs, I am fine off drugs...

I am just gonna ignore where it hurts, seems to have worked thus far. If triggered, well then f**k it, wake up tomorrow and try again. Instead of being triggered and losing my mind. Maybe its better to have it too real, walking away in pain might be better then having a persistent thought of the end.



Last edited by Dragnet on 09 Dec 2017, 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Raleigh
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09 Dec 2017, 8:10 pm

Yes.


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Dragnet
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09 Dec 2017, 8:13 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Yes.


Yes... exactly... you and the other 29 can go to hell...

Where everyone thought it was good idea to give me more problems... all thirty can go to hell :-(



MakaylaTheAspie
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09 Dec 2017, 8:13 pm

I've been there. It's not going to get better unless you want it to, that's the reality.


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Raleigh
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09 Dec 2017, 8:15 pm

Dragnet wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
Yes.


Yes... exactly... you and the other 29 can go to hell...

Where everyone thought it was good idea to give me more problems... all thirty can go to hell :-(

I don't believe in hell so I guess I'll wander aimlessly forevermore, which is fine with me.
Aimlessness is how I roll.


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Raleigh
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09 Dec 2017, 8:17 pm

Pointlessness is the point.


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Dragnet
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09 Dec 2017, 8:18 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
I've been there. It's not going to get better unless you want it to, that's the reality.


Reality is, I have no say so in it, its up to the annoymous 30... for life.

Facts are the point, that is the fact and thus is the point.

They make me something I am not.

And that hurts more.

And if older wounds couldn't heal, what makes the annoymous 30 think I can heal from recent wounds?

I can't, but it can hurt enough to walk away, which is reality of the facts and thus... the point.



Raleigh
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09 Dec 2017, 8:21 pm

The anonymous 30?
Hmm.


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