What's the last weirdest dream you had?

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I dreamt a boy from highschool and I rode our bikes to the beach. We have our guitars with us, which we lay down in the sand as I look for the key to lock up our bikes. The usual key isn't amongst the others but there's a strange new key that looks like a long piece of flat metal with some circuitry at the end. I look at the lock. It's changed too. It's now a long, shiny silver padlock with a slot at the end that looks like a USB port. I put the key in the lock and there's a sequence of beeping and a red light and the bikes concertina and fold up into the lock. We're both gobsmacked. I do the unlock and lock thing several times and we're giggling and rolling around in the sand in delight at this wonderful trick.

We're sitting on the sand when we see a huge polar bear come down the beach. We jump over a wire fence and observe the bear from this rather flimsy hiding place. A woman walks up to the bear and starts teasing it - batting it on the nose and poking it with her finger. The bear gets riled up and starts mauling the woman horribly as we watch. She tries to get away by jumping into the water but the bear follows and although they're mostly underwater I can see every graphic detail in front of my eyes as he starts to rip off her scalp and face and the water fills up with blood.

To dream that you [or a major dream object] are being pursued or attacked by a bear denotes anger and your uncontrolled aggression. You are feeling trapped. Perhaps you are in an threatening situation, some overwhelming obstacle or domineering and possessive relationship.

Wow. That makes sense. I can see now that the woman in the dream had the same kind of mannerisms as my mother. Even the way she poked the bear is how she pokes me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. I guess I still harbour a lot of anger from the past. It's complicated.

well, today is the first day of the rest of your life, that you can resolve anew with new energy, to change the channel on those stressors and find better things from now on.

Finally, a dream again, and weird it was:

multiple parts, as always

1. I was on vacation in a city with some friends. We were in a church of some sort, which gave out food to the poor. One church guy said he could see we were not poor, but we got some anyway. They had free meatballs, and for one euro you could get another one. Then I went to the restroom and it was a little dirty, but very large and weirdly luxurious. Like, with cushioned arm rests and stuff.. I thought to myself 'America is weird' so I guess we were in America?

2. I visited a coworker at home. He's actually kind of new so I don't know much about him. In the dream it turned out that he was seriously ill and his parents took care of him at home. We talked for a while about his sickness. Then his mother came and asked me to give some blood so they could test if I qualify as a donor of some kind. I agreed but she wanted to use a weird thing to take my blood, I had to put my foot into it and it would take blood from my large toe, through the nail.. ewww. However the needle missed my toe, but still I started to bleed and was in a lot of pain.

I was going to the sandwich shop to get a delicious turkey and cranberry sandwich. I passed my brother in law, who is English, waiting outside, eating a sad sandwich with no meat, no cheese, and no mayonnaise on it. He was tweeting about how wonderful it was, which was ridiculous. I was hoping he didn't see me as I went up to get my sandwich because I had forgotten to put on a pair of trousers that morning. I was telling myself that everyone would just think I wear wearing a pair of short shorts.

When I woke up to tell my husband my dream, he rolled over, blinking, and said, "I dreamt I lived in a hollow tree..."

"...I dreamt I lived in a hollow tree..."

While I was away I had a dream that I was back working on the farm. The boss wanted me to empty one of the rainwater tanks because it was contaminated. When I tipped it up with the tractor a whole heap of decomposing dead bodies slid out and slithered into the river where they floated grotesquely - some with half exposed ribs sticking out where the flesh had been ripped away - others with empty eye sockets.
I'm sitting with my partner at a cafe overlooking the river. Everything's normal. Then I start freaking out big time. I'm pacing and pulling my hair and hitting myself in the head with the heels of my hands. I run down onto the jetty and start babbling about the dead bodies being stuck underneath it. I'm in a highly agitated state.
My partner says, "There's only one way to find out." And before I can do anything, he jumps into the water and disappears under the surface. I can't believe what he just did. I hold my breath. There's silence as I wait. He reappears in front of me as if by magic. I see him in astonishing detail. He tells me there's nothing under there. I don't need to worry. Everything will be alright. I can't describe the relief I feel at hearing these words.

Corpse
To see a corpse in your dream represents an aspect of yourself that has died. Or it may mean that you are not feeling unexpressive. You have shut yourself down and feel lifeless inside more often these days.
River
To see a clear and calm river in your dream indicates that you are just going with the flow. You are allowing your life to float away. It is time to take a more decisive role in directing your life. To see a muddy or fouled river in your dream, then it indicates that you are in turmoil.
Farmer
To see a farmer in your dream, points to your productivity. Are you utilizing your fullest potential? It may also suggest that you need to work harder in order to reap the benefits of your plans.
Farm
To see or live on a farm in your dream suggests that you need to develop an aspect of yourself and utilize your potential. You are ready for growth.

In my latest one I was in a cabin of sorts and snuggling a baby lynx.

Lynx
To see a lynx in your dream symbolizes secrecy. You need to expose and examine those secrets and learn from them. There is more to be known and more to be learned about a situation, relationship, or problem.
Cabin
To see or dream that you are in a wood cabin indicates that you will succeed via your own means. It suggests that you are self-reliant and independent, yet still remain humble. You prefer the simpler things in life. To dream that you are in a ship cabin indicates that are seeking some refuge from your emotions.

I'm at home in the kitchen when the phone rings. It's my mother, who's called to tell me how HORRIBLE the world is and that everything's TERRIBLE etc, etc (she does this irl). I get pissed off and ask her, "Don't you have any faith?" There's a long silence. I say, "Don't you realise things have to get bad before they get good? You have to go through suffering before you heal. Otherwise, how would you know the difference?"
While I'm talking, I notice the fridge is making an awfully loud knocking noise. I say, "Can you hear that?" And hold out the phone to the fridge. Two guys in overalls appear from nowhere and start examining the fridge. One carefully opens the door. It's empty, except for a bottle of milk which is suspended in mid air and emptying itself all over the bottom of the fridge. I start yelling, "Milk, milk, milk!" The guy slams the door shut and jumps back. "What's wrong with it?" I ask. The guy answers in a Cockney accent, "Well, it's the aliens innit?"

^^^
Milk
To see milk in your dream symbolizes maternal instincts and motherly love. It also denotes human kindness, wholesomeness, and compassion. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor that someone is "milking" you, either emotionally or financially. If you spill milk in your dream symbolizes a loss of faith, opportunity, and trust. The juxtaposition of this dream imagery with the previous scene with your mother discussing faith, would seem to indicate you are trying hard to keep the faith yourself.
Refrigerator
To see or open a refrigerator in your dream represents the chilling over time of your personality and/or cold emotions. The dream may also be telling you that you need to put some goal, plan, or situation on hold. Alternatively, a refrigerator signifies that you have accomplished what you have been subconsciously seeking. To dream that the refrigerator is malfunctioning suggests that you need to warm up to somebody or some situation. It is time to let go of chilly distant feelings.
Cockney Accent
To hear someone speaking with a cockney accent in your dream represents something familiar yet different. You are getting the gist of a message, but you still do not completely understand all of it. The technician is your subconscious mind's way of reminding you to stop and smell the roses, and to slow down enough to befriend more people.
Aliens
To dream that the cockney-accented technician is talking about aliens might mean he is reminding you of thoughts you try to suppress in waking life, or the undiscovered part of yourself. Dreams of this nature also symbolize you might be feeling "alienated" and disconnected on a daily basis. You may also be having difficulties with how to handle or deal with a certain situation or person. Alternatively, the dream represents your desire to escape from your daily life.

i dreamt i was in some oval office in the middle of a big parking lot, the sky was blue above in the late afternoon. inside was decked out with salmon-orange carpeting and no furniture, and large view windows were all around. in the room were military non-commissioned officers ["sergeants and corporals"] wearing ww2-era fatigues and ordering us about and making us march in a big circle around the room. i tried to march in step but was hopelessly out of step, and was a bit surprised that no harsh treatment was forthcoming from the officers. then they told us to halt, and to wait until the quartermaster dumped our supplies in the middle of the room. then i awoke. huh: first army dream I've had in quite a while now.