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Kuraudo7777
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26 Feb 2018, 4:11 pm

Hello, everyone.

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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII

Kiprobalhato
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26 Feb 2018, 4:39 pm

cberg wrote:

Is the fan squealing?

the optical drive is making funny noises.

i thought i turned it off last night. guess i didn't.

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Temeraire
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26 Feb 2018, 4:49 pm

Yeah I am pro-onion.

I can confirm it does not promote passion but can insinuate ignorance.

Marknis
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26 Feb 2018, 4:58 pm

My head is feeling worse today. My will to live is decreasing more and more.

Temeraire
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26 Feb 2018, 5:11 pm

Marknis wrote:

My head is feeling worse today. My will to live is decreasing more and more.

Hang in there Marknis.
You are stronger than you think.
Cathy made a good point about you being able to survive depression for 12 years.
And you have managed to hold down a job too with all that has been going on for you.

Can you give yourself some credit for that at least?

Kuraudo7777
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26 Feb 2018, 5:14 pm

As amazing as it might seem to those who know me, I was once very close to where Marknis is now, intermittently for about six+ years. I was just very good at hiding it.

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Temeraire
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26 Feb 2018, 5:36 pm

Kuraudo7777 wrote:

As amazing as it might seem to those who know me, I was once very close to where Marknis is now, intermittently for about six+ years. I was just very good at hiding it.

And you are writing lovely stories for people like myself to enjoy and also finding your own joy in so many different things.

I thought about the Cheroke parable about two wolves and what we feed inside.

Depression is not easy to starve but it is possible to feed the part of us which can fight it.

Kuraudo7777
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26 Feb 2018, 5:48 pm

Quote:

Depression is not easy to starve but it is possible to feed the part of us which can fight it.

How true.
^.^ :mrgreen:

I still self-deprecate a lot, often without even realizing it.

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dragonsanddemons
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26 Feb 2018, 6:11 pm

Marknis wrote:

My head is feeling worse today. My will to live is decreasing more and more.

Big dragon hugs. I haven't been posting as much as I used to and this thread in particular can be too fast or hard for me to follow, but I wanted to let you know that I'm still thinking about you. I'm in a similar place, I think. I haven't really had a will or desire to live in years. Presently I'm really feeling like I'm just a parasite, that aside from the emotional attachment some people have for me, I have nothing to offer in return for all the support, and I'm entirely dependent on others since I have no source of income... and I don't really have any evidence that suggests that's likely to change anytime soon. But as others have mentioned, the fact that we're still alive after over a decade of depression shows that we both are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for - I too have a hard time remembering/believing that. It's very wearing, to say the least, and I don't blame you one bit for your will to live declining - I don't think anyone who hasn't had depression that lasts for years can truly understand what a toll it takes on one to be depressed for so long, and what a struggle it is to just keep on living. But there is still hope, no matter how small - anything is possible. And there are people who care about you and would miss you if you were gone - I know I'd miss you. I know it's really hard, but please try to stay strong and keep going. Sending you lots of good wishes and more dragon hugs, and I really wish there was more I could do to help.

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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"

kraftiekortie
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26 Feb 2018, 7:34 pm

I hope Ms. Dragon and Mark can become friends.

Kuraudo7777
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26 Feb 2018, 7:37 pm

I'm trying to think of an 'Omega' element to assign to the four heroes of what may be Book IX [aside from their 'Alpha' and 'Beta' elements of fire/lightning, water/ice, earth/wood, and air/wind]. So far, all I've come up with are: Light, Love, Life, and Song, but I'm not sure whether I'll keep them and/or who will get what.

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cberg
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26 Feb 2018, 7:41 pm

Booyakasha wrote:

Darmok wrote:

https://www.theonion.com

Is it the time to open an onion appreciation thread?

I think I found something even less informative.

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Darmok
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