What's the last weirdest dream you had?

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Me, my mother and father were on holiday, in some holiday home or another that I didn't recognize from real life, and me and my Dad were massacred/shot whilst staying there, whilst my mother survived the onslaught. I died and I had a warm feeling of travelling through the cosmos.

When I awoke, I was in a kitchen full of people, in some alternative reality, and one of the people in the kitchen, who seemed to be the leader of the group of people, said something to the effect of:

"I've managed to carry over most of the people over from the previous reality and we're all here now apart from sadly, *insert names* who didn't make it."

I looked down at my body and I was several dozen kilograms lighter, and could walk very fast to my surprise. Through a temporary vision, I saw my previous death in the previous reality was age 42 and I felt horribly guilty that I had left my mother behind who had survived and I started crying.

I went into another room parallel to the kitchen in the new reality I had been placed in after death in the previous one, and I mentioned to the leader guy who came into this room from the kitchen, that I wanted things to be the same as they were before, me, back with my family in the original reality. After some struggle, I managed to convince him to send me back.

He sent me back (or so, seemingly, was the intention).

I woke up again, this time, as a fat child instead of an adult on an upstairs landing area between bedrooms and my Dad, appropriately younger relative to my real life age, said we had both had a shared dream where we had been shot, and that I was back home now and that everything was okay. Evidently I was in a house I had lived in, but both my Mum and Dad were a lot younger than they should have been and the group leader was gone from before, I felt alone now and that I was stuck in this 'wrong' incarnation of reality. And then I woke up shortly after. D:

I dreamed last night that my mother's head (my mother passed about 10 years ago) was on my dog's body. He is a mix between a boxer and a golden retriever

Last night's dream was one of the weirdest. It was definitely deeply about the subconscious mind processing some strong emotions.

I'd just come out of a friend's house and was in a hurry to catch the last bus home, but there was a pack of unruly schoolboys at the stop who were getting in my way. When the bus arrived I fought through them to get on it. It was a strange bus, very old (1940s?) and somewhat unusual even for its time because the doorway was near the front. [In waking life I'd last seen odd buses similar to that while at the grammar school. Nothing of the kind would serve the routes near my home but they'd go from school to town sometimes.]
I asked the driver whether the bus went to the destination I wanted. His reply was unclear but seemed to indicate that it kind of did, but not in the normal way, as if it would go in the opposite direction first and then turn round and eventually get to where I wanted to be. I was wary of losing my card (free bus pass, or bank card?) because of the rush I was in and having so much to carry - two coats - that made it hard for me to juggle everything. The bus indeed went the opposite way to my destination and then stopped, apparently permanently, at what seemed like its terminus. As it wasn't clear whether it would get me home, rather than waste time and risk getting stranded for want of a subsequent bus, I got off.

Then I was back with my friends at their house, though in the dream this felt like my planned destination. I noticed that my card wasn't in my pocket, but luckily when I found my coats, it turned out to be in the pocket of the orange one [in waking life I've been known to absent-mindedly put my keys or bank card into the wrong pocket and later to think I'd lost them and to feel rather panicky until I've found them].

Not all that weird I suppose, but it's the best I've been able to do recently. Time was doing odd things, as if it didn't know whether I was in the present or 60 years ago. I guess all dreams are weird to some extent.

Last night I had a nightmare about food. It started where I had some candy and I was sharing it with someone else, and I wanted to make sure we each got the same amount of candy. It became difficult because there were only one of some types of candy, so we started putting values on how much each of us liked each type of candy and distributing it so we each got the same value. Then it expanded beyond candy to all kinds of other foods that I had on a plate and I was trying to eat. There was one with noodles in some kind of sauce, but the noodles were huge and floppy and really hard to eat. The sauce also got all over the plate and ruined all the other food. I started picking through the sauce and discovered that there were mushrooms in it, making the whole thing inedible. I got mad that no one had warned me about the mushrooms and I think that was about when I woke up.

Possibly the most autistic dream I've ever had

A long time ago I died in a dream. I was shot through the head with a crossbow. At the point of death I expanded in every direction until I was stretched so thin I wasn't anything any more. It was an interesting feeling.

But last night I died again. Sort of. I decomposed at least. It was a long and very strange dream in which I unwittingly had a drug-induced trip. I realised later I'd been drugged. So i guess I didn't really die.

Anyway, during the trip I fell onto a pile of decomposing bodies and felt my own body rapidly decompose, flesh falling off the bone, bones collapsing into dust. It was a very strange sensation and I wanted to fight it at first but I realised I had to accept it and go with it.

I had a dream that mice were getting frisky on my windowsill and after each pair of mice did their thing, they jumped out my window. I also threw a mouse out my window by the tail to see what would happen when he hit the ground.

dreamt that an assistant manager was throwing turkeys against the wall.

I have a lot of weird dreams. A couple of days ago I dreamt that I discovered a large tattoo on my chest. I was very surprised. In real life I have no tattoos. I decided that the only explanation must be that I had it made when I was in my twenties (I am 57) and then for some reason forgot all about it.

I had a dream this morning in which I was a fully credentialed actuary and was working at a major insurance company.

At the office, I usually ate at the company's cafeteria, but that day I had to run an errand at lunch. I had a fairly new SUV but when I went to the parking lot, it wasn't there. Someone had stolen it.

I called the police and after I described it and gave them the license plate and my name, they started to get real edgy. About that time, it was seen being driven back into the parking lot with two women who I didn't know. They claimed that they were using it with my permission, but the police didn't buy that.

It turned out that they had managed to clone the key fob and had been driving it for a couple of months without my knowledge. They had dinged it up in the previous week or two but I had not noticed it. Then it turned out that they had a habit of eating and then dashing out without paying and some businesses had been able to get my license plate number. They were also thought to have committed an armed robbery while driving it. No wonder the police were so edgy.

So they were arrested on a number of charges including car theft, robbery, armed robbery, leaving the scene of an accident, and resisting arrest. The police were still checking me out to make sure that I had nothing to do with it, but I was pretty much in the clear.

I dreamt I was dragging around a yellow-painted tubular piece of metal, about 10 feet long, that had an L-bracket screwed into it. some people were following me gazing at me with curiosity and a bit of irritation. I ended up being met by an older woman with sandy short hair. she guided me into an office where one of the people that followed me, a woman who looked like a grown up Wednesday Addams from "The Addams Family" TV show, was clumsily giving me a manicure while spilling nail polish onto her work tray, i repeatedly scooped up the nail polish and coaxed it back into the bottle, this irritated the woman for some mysterious reason, and she took a swing at me, which I intercepted by restraining her wrists, she yelled at me "I DON'T CARE FOR YOUR TYPE, IN FACT I DESPISE YOU!!" at which point I turned to the sandy haired woman who seemed to be her boss, and I told her "please remove this woman from my presence or I will have to take my business elsewhere."

I dreamt I was trapped in a shed in somebody's back yard. there was an angry yellow jacket buzzin' around me and I weakly tried to fend it off with a paper grocery bag.

In my last dream I was an English teacher in junior high school.