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Flowers made of springs.

Why does a wood chuck chuck?

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Because it has eaten something that disagrees with it.

Why can't people grow more than one head?

Extra head growing came to an end due to the Cephalic Plague that took place 6000 years ago.

Why are babies born without teeth?

To faster learn to use chopsticks.

Is it possible to feed the world?

Yes, simply by letting them know it's Christmas time.

How many swans has King Charles III eaten since he became king?

Coffee doesn't work anymore

What should I try next?

Try the last thing you tried again only harder. It'll definitely work this time.

Custard is better than rice pudding. True or false?

It's a null set in which Christmas Pudding with cream is the only truth.

Where is the postman, he's late?

Both throw parcels over the hedge and arrive unpredictably, often to ring your door bell then run away, sometimes leaving you a note saying you weren't in so couldn't leave your parcel, despite you being in all the time.

What is the difference between a dog and a hamster?

Hamsters poo with duct tape, dogs pee with WD40.

What's the difference between mice and cats?

Subtract the smaller number from the bigger number to find the difference.
Unless you think there are a negative number of animals, in which case proceed in reverse.

Why bother?

It's a part of Botherline Probability Disorder.

Why does my cat hunt toilet paper?

It smells like teen spirit.


What happens if you get a correct answer?

God divides by 0 and a new black hole emerges.

How to get rid of a toothache?

Call 36-24-360, for dental deeds done dirt cheap.


How to make nice pastry?