Light heartedness for the current crisis

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Fnord
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13 Apr 2020, 6:41 pm

Throwaway2 wrote:
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And I just discovered that the word "Gullible" is not in the dictionary!


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Fnord
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13 Apr 2020, 7:14 pm

 

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Fnord
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13 Apr 2020, 7:18 pm

Are cats smarter than people?

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You decide.


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Fnord
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13 Apr 2020, 7:21 pm

If The Last Supper was held on Zoom...

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Fnord
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13 Apr 2020, 7:22 pm

 

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Throwaway2
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13 Apr 2020, 7:33 pm

When I volunteer to do the barbecue, the following chain of events is put into motion:

1. My wife buys the food.

2. My wife makes a salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.

3. My wife prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and brings it to me who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

4. I PLACE THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5. My wife goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6. My wife comes out to tell the me that the meat is burning. I thanks her and ask if she will bring another beer while I deals with the situation.

7. I TAKE THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HAND IT TO MY WIFE.

8. My wife prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.

9. After eating, my wife clears the table and does the dishes.

10. Everyone PRAISES ME and THANKS ME for my cooking efforts.

11. I ask my wife how she enjoyed her night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, conclude that there's just no pleasing her.



Throwaway2
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13 Apr 2020, 7:48 pm

EzraS wrote:
Oh I'm fairly certain it's going to get much worse. I'm on a downer right now. I'll probably get over it. Sorry.


dont be down fella , heres a joke that might bring a naughty laugh


3 blokes are chatting

Bloke 1: "When you're sixty you always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

Bloke 2: "Ah, that's nothin', When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

Fnord: "Actually, 80 is the worst age of all!"

Bloke 1:"Do you have trouble peeing too?"

Fnord: "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

Bloke 2: "Do you have trouble crapping?"

Fnord: "No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

Bloke 1: "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?"

Fnord: "I don't wake up until 7:00"



Throwaway2
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13 Apr 2020, 8:30 pm

The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors


1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is



Darmok
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13 Apr 2020, 8:43 pm

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Darmok
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13 Apr 2020, 8:48 pm

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Darmok
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13 Apr 2020, 8:58 pm

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Syd
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13 Apr 2020, 9:00 pm

Throwaway2 wrote:
The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors

1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is




Darmok
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13 Apr 2020, 9:03 pm

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blooiejagwa
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13 Apr 2020, 9:13 pm

Syd wrote:
Throwaway2 wrote:
The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors

1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is




i wish I could do my hair like those girls.


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Jakki
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13 Apr 2020, 10:34 pm

EzraS wrote:
Oh I'm fairly certain it's going to get much worse. I'm on a downer right now. I'll probably get over it. Sorry.


still owe you a debt for the humour you have given us previously , THANK YOU
:) hang in there please.


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Jakki
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13 Apr 2020, 10:38 pm

Fnord wrote:
 
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sad but funny


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