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I missed an opportunity to meet people tonight because I was hyperfixated on Pythagorean triples.

Well, I had a good time at least.

I gave Schultz the old college try for 24 hours. It just wasn't the same.

CR...I was going to suggest a red, yellow and black background for him.
Somehow he was too colourless to be you these days.

My heart isn't where my family is right now. It seems that I'm putting Germany and myself before my family. This has happened once before in 2016. I'll have my fun and enjoy the Oktoberfest party two doors down from the local mom and pop restaurant, than next week, I'll visit with my parents after 3 months. I feel like a young hippie who doesn't think much about family. Maybe I am, in a way. I'll visit my parents three times in the next 4 weeks and than I'll go along my merry way until Christmas Eve Day. After I come home on Boxing Day, I'll go along my merry way until my mum's birthday. Do all people grow apart from their parents this way at my age, or am I a special case?

An easy life with an easy existence is basically just that one of those exceptional privileged person who can basically have everything; whether it's material things or immaterial things. It's their choice.
These are the real privileged people living amongst everyone else. They're usually out of touch with the majority's reality. They live in the dream; their efforts mattered and their efforts are their choices.

An easy life with a hard existence is basically someone who's only coping with living, even if comfortably, are still needing to cope.
They don't have anywhere to go but their 'comfort zones'.
These are the type who are mostly labeled as someone who was coddled and remained dependent.
To some extent, those with any disabilities. When in reality, while they have more rights, they don't have a lot of choice either.

A hard life with an easy existence usually comes with eventual competency and is able to reach their potential with all the adversaries and complexities thrown at them.
These are the glorified survivors of the survivorship bias -- worked their assess off and paid off. These are the people who had harder begining and clawed their way to the top and believed that the system, no matter how 'dysfunctional' is 'fair'.

A hard life with a hard existence are those living in drowning. They're not only stuck in one place, barely able to grow, they're also have to cope with whatever internal and external issues they have.
They're the so-called losers in life. They're the ones many would make an example of; a subject to judgement without any nuance, they're the stories of people with dubious intentions justify whatever ill intent they have. Not only that their choices and efforts do not matter, they also do not have a lot of rights.


What's mistaken to be lucky are those with an easier life.
They have all the external access and means -- their lifestyle is believed to be what success looked like.

The ones who are really lucky are those with an easier existence.
Because their efforts mattered, their hardwork gets rewarded. They have a choice.

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Can you cook kale?

I'm trying to decide if I forgot my ADHD meds, or I'm about to drop dead.

I have f***ed this week up royally. Today in particular has been one bad decision after another.

That must be nice. My week has been f**ked up by other people.

Is it nausea from dairy or is it potentially nausea from up and stopping my antibiotics?

(Antibiotics were for acne, not an infection, i should be fine)

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Now, I miss Schultz.

I will never sleep lying down again. It's giving me unwanted physical symptoms.

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Gotta focus on some important things for longer than 3 minutes. Effing ADHD.

Another rant about me choosing my phone until December;



My current brand of phone, while cannot have it's bootloader unlocked and modified, has plenty of support and repair centers.

And if I stick to the brand, which is my current safe route, I'll get and use my own personal cloud from that particular brand (on top of Google Drive).

Another bonus would be that data transfer and cloning would be very easy since it's the same brand. Basically a smoother transition and upgrades with extra features; ways I needed and intended to be from the start.


If I took the low spec but super optimized route, I may ended up a different brand. Samsung A series seem to be a candidate for me since it has plenty of support.

But I'd lock out on certain things like that USB comparability on certain devices (it exists and specifically stated that it's not compatible with Samsung for some reason) or certain apps (what runs well around 4gb RAM or less in the next 2 or so years?).

In exchange, I can very much just modify the phone into something super simple... I can de-google the whole thing, too.


If I took the high spec route, it's a bit risky to take care of it for the next 4-6 years at minimum.

Support centers are not common, still had to be established within my locale... What if my habits won't change in the next 2 years or so?
That would meant 2+ years of using a phone that I don't necessarily need.

And if I did changed, it meant I prepared well.
There's no guarantee if I do or when I will, as much as I want to.

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