Make an extremely dark joke.

Post Reply New Topic

Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.




Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Scientific American has published , That Covid 19 is the first Level of a extinction Level event ,
for humanity due to inadvertant experimentation , with Covid type Virus replication .
Shelter in place Requirements . Have long since been known as Governmental emergency Preparedness Requirements across the Globe compelled by the W.H.O. ,as Last resort efforts.
In Event of a Worldwide Biological accident or Nuclear fallout events . Please follow all Governmental Regulations regarding such incidents .

Dark joke?

Ok. What do you say when the sun goes the other side of the earth?

"It's night time".

An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists.

The terrorist leader said, "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about."

The Englishman replied, "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."

The Canadian replied, "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."

The American replied, "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."

If you see a blind man in the street, kick him. Why should you be kinder than God?

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.




The Toaster;
other wise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.  I said, "Well, what do you need?"

My friend asked me why I have sex noises saved on my phone.

I said, “It’s for sound effects during sex.”

He asked, “Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?”

I replied, “No, I work in a morgue.”

Wife:Honey I'm pregnant
Husband:Hi Pregnant, I'm dad
Wife:No you’re not

I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.


You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.


Well, they do say opposites attract. So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.


So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

What borders on stupidity?"














"Mexico and Canada!