Today I Learned

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Today, To be more patient, with individual person contractors limitations ...

That on some days life has nothing to teach me. Hang on, that's learning something, so life always has something to teach me. *But if life has taught me something, it can't be true that life had nothing to teach me. So I haven't learned anything today. So life didn't teach me anything. Therefore there are days when life has nothing to teach me. Therefore life taught me something. Go to *.

Today, I learned what's basically my recurring headache, specifically in my left side of my head, usually in or around the eye (after a chronic one from an unsolved dental issue) is actually a form of sinus barotrauma.

No, I'm not a frequent flier nor a diver.
But I was trying out underwater helmet diving just earlier today

Not even a meter down -- not exaggerating, it's literally less than 3 ladder steps down underwater with a diving helmet -- with techniques being taught to first timers; said left side of my head suddenly felt like it's exploding.

I backed out.
Felt so fricking frustrated.

Pain reminded me of most of my memories waking up from basically a lifetime of days, dealing with said headaches that leave me frustrated for basically half of my waking life.

In which some days are worse, bad enough I cannot bike.


So, unless I have a pain tolerance of a high disciplined elite soldier; or somehow end up with an inability to feel pain -- I cannot dive without feeling like something is stabbing my head bloody.

With the contrast of not dealing with the nasal nuisance for quite sometime; today I learned that I might as well been dealing with another form of chronic pain that I "normalized".

While I already knew the damnable chronic sneezing is my main source of frustration... And that atmospheric pressure is one of the many factors...

The fact that knowing that pain that I've been always been referring as the headache that keeps happening at my left side of my head; might as well be one of the many damages this damnable illness had done to me.


And how I sometimes if said left side of the head feels very light, far from tense is a sign of "being fully myself" i.e. having my true EF?



It pisses me even more about it.
I already knew this shite stole my life. But knowing the extent that it's even worse side effect than just crappy sleep???

That I already even said that it's more disabling than autism? I didn't knew it was even way worse than a chronic disruption...

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Today I learned what a "Party 7" was

Out of Turkey Tunisia and Tuvalu

Turkey is the closest to the North Pole

Thank you. That may be useful one of these days.

Yeah well you should count yourself lucky young man

With all my heart. I mean you never know do you?

My habit is currently drawn into falling asleep around 2am.

For now.

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That's been my habit for a year or two. Trouble is, I always tell myself I'm going to bed by midnight.

I sleep very well when I'm underslept, but when I'm underslept I feel ill during the day.

I learned about biblical meditation from my therapist as well as using repetition in centering myself. I also learned that the people you work with are what's most important in a company or organization and that I need the structure of it in my life. As much as I used to get anxiety from it I see that it's an important part of my life and I need the interaction and structure (Watching the show "Severance" has been a big influence).

That people should keep a bag of dry dog food in their car in case of an emergency, since kibble is safe enough for humans to eat and most people are unlikely going to eat it unless it *is* a real emergency.

Actually, if things get so bad that I *do* have to eat dog food just to survive, I might as well keep some cyanide along with it.

That Ozempic costs $283 an injection.