What's on your mind right now?
CockneyRebel
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I was completing EMDR ffor events I experienced. The eye-movement sessions were helpful, but I really processed the trauma myself between sessions by pacing the the house and going for walks. I'm not exaggerating that I paced 15 miles inside my house in one day, with another 3 miles outside. At first, I didn't realize I was processing the events. I saw it as burning out all the energy I had from being activated. Apparently, that's the same thing. Then, I realized something: Forrest Gump! After Vietnam, Forrest Gump felt like running, so he did for a reallyyyyy long time....because he was processing Vietnam and Bubba!!...Right‽
The next session with the autism psychologist who happened to get offended if I said anything that could be considered rude about autistic people (and [intellectually impaired] people in her defense), I told her my observation. When she paused to think about it, I said, "He went runnang," with a poor imitation of Gump's voice and waited for her to get offended. I pretended to do it because I thought it was funny to get her confused about being mad at an autistic person making fun of an autistic person for being autistic, but I really did it because I am a....a.....ahhhh what?....a PSYCHOPATH!! ! That's right. I admit it. I am a psychopath that enjoys faking autism to make fun of it. Busted af. She knew it. A psychopath whose grand scheme was to make and perform an elaborate autistic character in order to make fun of Forrest Gump and his Vietnam trauma to a psychologist in a private session that I paid for because I hate autistic people and Medal of Honor recipients, so it was efficient.
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"Am I wrong?" - Walter Sobchak
The next session with the autism psychologist who happened to get offended if I said anything that could be considered rude about autistic people (and [intellectually impaired] people in her defense), I told her my observation. When she paused to think about it, I said, "He went runnang," with a poor imitation of Gump's voice and waited for her to get offended. I pretended to do it because I thought it was funny to get her confused about being mad at an autistic person making fun of an autistic person for being autistic, but I really did it because I am a....a.....ahhhh what?....a PSYCHOPATH!! ! That's right. I admit it. I am a psychopath that enjoys faking autism to make fun of it. Busted af. She knew it. A psychopath whose grand scheme was to make and perform an elaborate autistic character in order to make fun of Forrest Gump and his Vietnam trauma to a psychologist in a private session that I paid for because I hate autistic people and Medal of Honor recipients, so it was efficient.
Dude, I hope you're OK. EMDR is a pseudoscience, hope it won't harm you.
Dude, I hope you're OK. EMDR is a pseudoscience, hope it won't harm you.
Thanks! I seriously thought the same thing, but gave it a shot anyway due to advice and desperation. I think EMDR can be helpful, but my brain doesn't function like most patients. I probably look like I'm not as bad as I am in session, but it's probably my ability to cope with it that makes my report and presentation mismatch. I also have trouble describing things, so they likely seem vague. I need someone to help guide me in identifying events and giving descriptions. Also, my response was delayed in that the flashbacks would kick in after session, so I did a lot of the processing myself....omg I just realized that my processing speed is sooooo slow! Anyway, flashbacks are real, undeniable, and overwhelming. Unfortunately, I don't think I was able to complete it sufficiently due to several complex factors. I know because I still think about it everyday. It's a mess. Maybe one day the chance will come up again, but for now, it's not a priority, so it stays tucked away like usual.
I appreciate the hope though. It really helps.
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"Am I wrong?" - Walter Sobchak
A step closer to solving it all.
And then all I have left is unwanted habits to kill.
Go back the way I've been before the unwanted shite...
Except way better. And with more power.
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Dude, I hope you're OK. EMDR is a pseudoscience, hope it won't harm you.
Thanks! I seriously thought the same thing, but gave it a shot anyway due to advice and desperation. I think EMDR can be helpful, but my brain doesn't function like most patients. I probably look like I'm not as bad as I am in session, but it's probably my ability to cope with it that makes my report and presentation mismatch. I also have trouble describing things, so they likely seem vague. I need someone to help guide me in identifying events and giving descriptions. Also, my response was delayed in that the flashbacks would kick in after session, so I did a lot of the processing myself....omg I just realized that my processing speed is sooooo slow! Anyway, flashbacks are real, undeniable, and overwhelming. Unfortunately, I don't think I was able to complete it sufficiently due to several complex factors. I know because I still think about it everyday. It's a mess. Maybe one day the chance will come up again, but for now, it's not a priority, so it stays tucked away like usual.
I appreciate the hope though. It really helps.
Well the lady who thought of (Francine Shapiro) has a murky past (false education claims, lots of false claims in general) and everything around it is controversial.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.10 ... 23-09582-x
Apparently, it was developed from NLP, which is another kind of pseudoscience.
However, there are some authors (that I know of) with less murky credentials who wrote about healing trauma - I read van der Holk's book ("The body keeps the score"). While some points there could possibly be useful (he claims yoga or strenuous exercise can help, and I think you mentioned fast walking helps you), the other part of the book is a triggering mess, which I wouldn't recommend. But Gabor Mate has potentially more promising books, if you have the time/energy to go through them: https://drgabormate.com/trauma/
Zimbardo (the guy who did the Stanford Prison Experiment) also developed his method in healing trauma; it's to do with the time perspective. I didn't find the time yet to read the book though: https://www.pesi.com/store/detail/14167 ... erspective
I tried seeing a therapist long ago, but that only made me a sweaty and agitated mess, since it made me relive the whole thing again. The only thing that helps (me at least) is getting myself distracted with something worthwhile, some project. Also, I find animals very therapeutic. But that's me, I hope you find something that helps you.
Last edited by Bestiola on 31 Mar 2025, 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
The wood shop teacher in high school was a Vietnam vet. Even though we were high school students in a poor city with no idea of what mental health was in the late 90s, we could all tell that the wood shop teacher's mind was cooked. For example, he saw two girls that weren't his students walking together in the hallway, and sounding like Krusty the clown, said, "Hey, gay girls!" Remember, this was the late 90s. He could go a long time without talking, looking silent, then drop some off the wall wacky statement. We couldn't really figure it out, and Vietnam was something everyone kinda "knew" not to talk about. Hell, we were high school students that weren't even alive when it happened.
I get older and have my own experiences, then realize I started understanding this guy. His scales were blown. His 10 before Vietnam became a 3 at best. After, there were a lot of things that mattered to most people that didn't even register on his scale. Oh, you had to stay late on Friday? My tour got extended by a month putting me at Hamburger Hill. It's really hot and humid outside? That sounds like such a miserable walk to the car compared to sleeping under the stars with wild tigers and the Vietcong roaming for 45 days straight during monsoon season. It sucks you stepped on a thumb tack. Miller stepped on a bouncing betty.
It didn't just make him seem insensitive to others. It made him bored out of his mind. Everything became boring. He had to come up with his own entertainment just to feel something. "Hey, gay girls!" Wasn't him being rude. It was him pointing out something that he didn't think anyone should care about. He was giving them permission to be gay because it didn't matter, and he didn't care what anyone thought because it really was that insignificant to him. And, pointing it out broke the numbing monotony of daily civilian life with a bunch of lame high school teachers as coworkers being all fake and PC while getting nothing of value done.
Shout out to Mr. Thompson. The dude was as wacky as he was going through it.
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Making another cookie dough batch of this month...
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CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,525
Location: In my own little country

