WP Addicts Anonymous

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I'd be here more, but I have a couple of hobbies that I enjoy. I did a Canada Day painting earlier on today. I've been thinking that maybe I should spend half of that time here. The world seems a bit more scary without that Sweet Pea who transferred to that other pharmacy across town. I also have a friend who expects me to be normal. When the two of us were out walking yesterday, she got irritated and bitchy at me that she doesn't like me following behind her. I told her that I feel more comfortable when I follow so that people don't see the two of us at once and call us ladies. On the way home, she kept on stopping and waiting for me to catch right up to her when I clearly couldn't keep up because the tendons in my body were causing intense pain. I kept on telling her that she could make her way home and that I'll take my time and than phone her when I got home. She kept on telling me, "It's okay, I'm fine!" I finally told her, "I'm not!" She took the long way home and I bought an energy drink and took the short way home.

I self-medicate with energy drinks when I don't feel that people don't take me as the trans guy that I am. I only buy one of those drinks on days that are like that. Yesterday was hard.

I just discovered the only purpose an autistic has is to commit to productivity, follow orders, take criticism, sit, move, and listen. Anything else is not appropriate. We all have to be drones and if we were music we'd just be one note.

I may be the only one here with this opinion, but this is too depressing. Can we be colorful and full of activity?

Raleigh, this autism is like a leash on me, and the only ones who are allowed to pull it are those of my family and medical professionals. Normal people see me and ignore this and while I keep on barking the comments trying to get in some words what I get are based on my barking. What I would like and I get why this would be disagreeable, is to finally be off this leash, and be off this collar called autism and blend in with the rest of everyone and be able to be more than just barking. Unfortunately, I have to say this collar is best and now because of my barking there is now an electric fence in the yard keeping me more insulated.

Why blend in when you can be a black sheep.

I'd rather be a regular sheep thank you very much, and more so than some sheep but like that squirrel who has the privilege of running all over the place.

What would you do if you were off the leash?

Learn from experience how to be independent like many adults and once from there get a well paying job and a home get along with the locals and learn how to behave well in my own environment. I may have trouble getting used to it, but once I do and once I learn to be happy first I'll be able to be a functioning adult like plenty of others and that is my dream.

What's the price?

$50,000 a year, and I'll be living in a condo in a different state from the one I am in now. That is what I'm hoping.