What's on your mind right now?

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A temptation to go the gym again for a second round.

Everything is changing around me and I can't keep up and I'm not sure (I really don't want to) if I can adapt and conform. I've always been a nonconformist and a rebel. People are changing and things and the world ... where to start and finish. The people I'm surrounded by are fickle. I've lost faith in humanity and I want to get it back but society isn't making it easy. Sorry, guys, just getting things off my shoulders. I just don't know anymore. I (fully) realize what I wrote reflects more on me than others because I can't change others or the world or the USA mess. Sometimes (most times) I wish I was never born at all. It says more about me.

Someone I used to work with has recently been diagnosed with autism, which amazed me because it felt like she was the opposite from autism when I used to work with her. She seemed more socially accepted and included and favoured, to the point where I just saw her as an extroverted NT with a strong personality. I felt like the autistic one more because I was quieter and excluded from social activities outside of the workplace, even though she didn't know the others there before she started. We both started at the same time.
I knew she had mental health problems but it didn't really make her socially quirky. To me she just seemed like a mouthy, troubled and obnoxious NT with an "Essex" style about her.

It just seems that anyone could have autism these days, and the line drawn between autism and other neurological conditions/disorders is becoming so hazy that soon all neurological conditions will end up just being on the autism spectrum somewhere.

Or maybe autistic women that drink and smoke and wear a lot of make-up just automatically get socially accepted by their peers.

I'm gonna have to just take it day-by-day; I guess. No expectations.

Germany. I've spent the entire day in my own little country with a cold. I'm missing Schultz and I'm missing my favourite Olympic athlete as well. So much for a healthy body image. At least I didn't buy Doritos today.

the dissadvantage of the internet is that we're subjected to the clowns in office every few seconds. ideally i'd like to go back in time where you only heard about them every 4 years. The world is way more interesting than politicians in suits.

If I were rich enough.

I'll only get low end devices.
Optimize, minimize.

The high specs are mostly for games.
If not artistic stuff.

Better in multitasking to the max; I used to imagine getting my hands on a tech that I can play several online game clients, with few browser tabs and while drawing -- but even if I do now, it never happened.

My laptop is... Over 2 years old now and I rarely ever used it for anything other than storing.
I still lament over the old data that some idiot decided to reformatted the old PC.

Sigh.

It reminds me of that colored lead that I've been put aside; that I'll start using it when I'm super competent to a level that I strive in drawing.

But that never did. The lead remained untouched somewhere.

Because the need never came up. The desire never came up.


The same with games and making arts since...
... I forgotten now.


The same goes with many, many things.

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I love crumpets me
But the reality of them is somehow never as good as the fantasy

It's funny how everybody knows that everybody is different but everybody still expects everybody to be the same

It's like a conundrum

Yeah I get what you mean Edna

I think you just have to take hunger as it comes sometimes

Like yesterday I wasn't hungry so I didn't have much but today I am so I'm having noodles

It's literally that simple

Sharks.

I love sharks me