I like the configuration that I managed to acquire myself.
Sometimes I find myself being demanding to have more of what I found myself wanting.
Just while it lasts for 3 days before setting for a long good time, but...
Nevermind that me demanding more actually demands as much from myself.
Really, my initial wish is to simply...
... Never spiral in any way or form.
And the body stops being an excuse.
It was a really, really good day, really.
Then as my day passes during a whole day sub job; I find myself wanting particulars. But I should take it easy.
I felt like a supercharged, yet a really steady, wiser version of my willful self in my youth.
One that's before prepubescent years.
Main difference is a glaring 20+ years knowledge gap.
.. I think this is how I survived or stayed sane from the numerous layers of neglect as a kid, before puberty and burnout hijacked it.
But I should stop myself from adding more modifications from original "wish" before I end up contorting myself trapped in a state that I had to bear for another decade and not keep up at it -- and just be consistent for the next 3 days before the door closes again.