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How big is your banana?

What is the best way to climb a tree?

He’s a cute little guy! ^

Shake all the needles off the tree first.

Sweep them into a pile.

Burn them.

Pray over the ash.

Sleep for a bit.

Maybe have lunch.

Then use a ladder to climb the tree.

When you come back down there won’t be any needles to clean up.

Voila!


How do wax candles work?

40 hours a week for minimum wage.

How air cleaners work?

People with big egos stand still with their mouth open. The world revolves around them, pushing the air through their lungs and cleaning it without the use of dyes or harsh chemicals. These people have the cleanest and best functioning lungs, by virtue of their arrogance, so it works well.


How to put two cats in one carrier for a car ride?

Put one cat inside the other.

How to cure my daughter's stomachaches?

I forget to say the stomachaches could be caused by an allergy to intestines, gall bladders, or stomach organs themselves. You might want to have her tested by an Immunologist. I hear they can be removed quite easily with needle-nosed pliers, if recommended.


What to say to a ghost?

"You should definitely lose some weight!"

What's the easiest thing in the world?

reading Finnish.

Why is Raleigh locked out?
serious q

Am i back?
Wow that was seriously weird.

The coffee did it.

Squeee


Do you wanna fight?

Yes.
And my weapon of choice is a banana lance and a shield made entirely out of of cat hairball.


How should a bird react to seeds?

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I have some cat hairballs here if you’d like to gather them.


A bird should give them five Hail Marys and a Batman ring.

Why do toilets flush?

Because they are embarrassed looking at your aris.

Why is rain wet?

Because it wants to kill laptops one drop at a time. It’s also symbolic for any resultant tears of rage.

Why do cat ultrasounds cost $750?

It is in the cat's job description to deprive you of as much money as possible. Just don't ask for a cat scan!

Why is it Sunday today?