SAY SOMETHING FUNNY DAMMIT!! !

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I find it impossible to say something funny without making fun of someone (myself included), and then, it needs to be in regards to a situation at the time.

I guess I have the Hans Asperger mentioned sadistic streak* and the complete lack of "normal" humour.

*I think he misinterpreted what he saw. The individual most likely doesn't find pleasure in it, it's just that the wit is very tailored, as that's the only wit possible for the individual with prototypical AS.

DaWalker is the epitome of emotional stability.

In 1996, Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokie Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in..... And then the trouble started.




Shut up. You know it's funny.

George W. Bush.................humanitarian

What the world needs now
Is guns, sweet guns
That's the only thing
That there's just too little of

those dietarily-challenged folk who overdo it on the olestra and alli and dextrose and other things designed to make fat go away, here is a neat little haiku just for you-

olestra and pampers
both by proctor and gamble
not mere coincidence

I don't wish to know what a butterdog would look like.

^
NSFW

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down.

The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively.

"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.

"Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.

Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?"

"Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied.

Pull my finger.

I'm not asking.

Do it.

What did the leper say to the prostitute?



Keep the tip.

nt's are smart

Trying to disprove the saying "You can't take it with
you," a stingy old lawyer, diagnosed with a terminal
illness, finally figured out how to take at least some
of his fortune with him when he died. He instructed
his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough
money to fill two pillowcases. He then told her to
take the bags of money to the attic and leave them
directly above his bed. When he passed away, he
planned to reach out and grab the bags on his way
to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, his
wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two
forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.

"Oh, that old fool!" she exclaimed. "I knew I should
have put the money in the basement."

Enemy combatant, extraordinary rendition, American foreign policy.....

SOCKPUPPET, COME BACK AND BE FUNNY DAMMIT!! !!