why men make excuses for why they cant marry?

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Agreed, it is BS. This may be true for a lot of NT's but for me and the Aspie men I know, we are far more mature in so many ways at a far earlier age than most. This is a big reason why we get alienated and friend listed so often.

Fear of commitment?

Why do I like The Kinks?

I think we don't want to get married because we don't want to deal with the responsibility of financial agreement.

Question for you....Especially regarding your ages...Why do you feel the need to rush to marriage?

In general, it is the responsible man that holds off marriage until he can be assured he can fully provide for a family. In his mind, he realizes that even a bird knows that you don't lay eggs until the nest is built.

He is probably confident in your love for him. Love can wait, for however long as necessary, if it is true. I hope you don't think your man is a coward for not "committing". He is probably thinking of you and your future children's welfare. If so, he is thinking forward. He sounds mature, that is how a mature person thinks. Only a person who is confident in his love can think this way. Perhaps, you are lucky to have him.

But then again....I could be wrong. If I am...it doesn't matter. You shouldn't be married anyway. You risk nothing.

If I am right, and you pressure him into marriage, and you have children before your finances could be solidified...your children may suffer. I know he would suffer...he would constantly be worried about providing. He may accept any position or job to make ends meet...locking him out of future job opportunities and locking his family into a lower economic strata. You risk everything.

If I am right, and you wait....you gain everything. You will have gained time to mature and live life. You won't feel robbed of life by not having experiences you other wise would have had. With no pressure before marriage, and he proposes, you gain the knowledge that he married you because he wanted to more than anything else. He will also know that you had loved him enough to be willing to wait for him.

Someone who is," afraid to commit", does so because it is not love. He is not sure of his feelings. That is not love. With love there is no doubt, and so, no rush. With love, straying from your partner never occurs, neither in mind, nor in body. A rushed marriage does nothing to assure he is yours forever. A marriage can be broken as easily as hearts are. Don't kid yourself otherwise.

Please don't get upset with this post. I am, by nature...an incorrigible busybody ....it still doesn't make me wrong.

Before you think...well, you are probably already thinking, "Who does this guy think he is...he doesn't know us". OK, so, before you post your thoughts....It is true I don't know about you...but neither do you know about me. What experiences qualify me to speak of such things? You don't know...that is why you must take the argument at face value and think it through for yourself.

Get your affairs in order first. Think about it...Love can wait...so can you.