Think of a few backhanded compliments.

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'you're weird/strange/odd' etc, i take it as a compliment though..

I get that one about smiling, too.

"You know, you really should smile more often, it lights up your whole face."

= my face is turned off in total darkness the rest of the time?

Is this one too:

"You seem normal to me."

and

"You look normal"

These are compliments to me. Who wants to look different?



I wonder if this be one too, "You don't look 24" compliment for me because I love looking younger and they better think I look younger if they say something like that.

"You're smart for your age" is this one?

Her (She's a health nut): Am I doing a good job sticking to my diet?
Me: Don't worry about what you eat. You eat a perfectly normal American diet.

I was listening intently - I thought you might say something interesting.

(might be more of a thinly veiled insult)

You're pretty handsome, for a skinny man!

you are such a special person, and you prove to me the truth in the saying "never judge a book by it's cover".

i congratulate you for being promoted. it proves that you are an extremely hard worker. most people would be promoted to your position automatically, but i know you had to work very hard to achieve your current station in life. i wish i could work as hard as you, but i am thankful that i do not have to.


the colour of your mascara is quite interesting. i am captivated by the sensuality in the hue and the subtle and well considered chromatic combinations that the color of your mascara has been designed with reference to.
can you please just anoint an A4 piece of paper with some of your mascara so i can take it home with me and think about that color without the inadequate setting of seeing it in the wrinkled folds of your crows feet. do not get me wrong. i like crows and i wish them to have feet, but i would like to see that color on a white piece of paper so i can look at it without any distraction.

i have a "friend" who has an "hyundai excel" and those cars are so common. they are feeble 1.3 litre runabouts, and his car is 12 years old and it looks like it has never been washed.
the paint work is bubbling and it is damaged severely by ultra violet light.
my "friend" commented the other day (as we were driving in my car) about another car on the road that was the same model as his. i searched for an idea that i could say that would not be derogatory about the circumstance of him noticing a piece of junk , and i remembered the exact design of his car and i superimposed that design onto the car that i was looking at that he pointed out, and i realized his car was different in a small but ego bolstering way, so i said "yes but that car does not have 'racing stripes' like yours does", and he then had an extreme problem with my contribution while i felt entertained extremely at his sense of insultedness by my innocent comment.


ahh well i have to go to my bed and lie on it to make sure it does not float away.

The one I get on regular basis: "your eyes look amazing, you should use contacts or take them off more frequently".
If I could be using contacts/take them off I would. Alas Im stuck with my glasses for at least another couple of years.

*I only know two people who are prettier than you!
*You're almost pretty enough to be in a beauty pageant!
*Your outfit makes you look slimmer and prettier.
*You hardly ever act like a dork.
*Your glasses make you look geek chic. Geek chic is totally in!

I thought you'd be in jail by now.

They've said that ^ to me.

Pretty cute for a fat guy.

Pretty fly for a white guy :p

Oh, there was a girl I was dating who told me that I looked handsome in a Hasidic sort of way. This was soon after a repeat episode of the Simpsons where Lisa falls in love with her substitute teacher - the Jewish cowboy teacher guy. I told her I'm not Jewish nor do I have Jewish roots. She didn't know what it meant. She was just regurgitating what she heard on TV.

i was once asked to supply my opinion as to the aptitude of a girl that we were employing on a trial basis. i said "she is quite an efficient little unit" (she heard me say it and became difficult for a while with me).

girl: i have had such a hard life. everything went wrong for me and here i am a broken down heap with only my looks to hide behind.
me: oh well there you go.
girl: don't you believe that i've had such a hard time?
me: yes i can see that you have lived a hard life by looking at your face. tragedy and ruination is etched deeply into it. (the rest is history)

my friend is going bald on top and he had an operation to plant hair in his head but it was not that successful. as a result, he wears baseball caps everywhere.
in my car recently, we had the windows open because my air conditioning is not working, and a gust of wind suddenly thrust through the car and he demonstrated exceptional reflexes by grabbing his cap before it was blown from his head.

me: wow. you have extremely good reflexes. (he smiled and looked proud)... you must be seriously paranoid of anyone seeing your barren head. (smile disappeared).


the same friend was lamenting recently that his car was a heap of crap. it is a 1990 hyundai excel that has only one reflector designed into it's bumper bar on the right hand side. all hyundai excels look asymmetrical to me, and when i mentioned that detail, he went into a "woe is me" type of response.

his car is a typical poor person's car he said, and he was grieving about how the paintwork had all peeled and became discolored, and how the plastic film on his windows was all bubbling and made it difficult for him to see. it blows smoke and his transmission is worn out almost because it does not change into 4th gear.

we were looking t his car and he was forlorn and i felt like saying something that would cheer him up, so i said "yes but at least it has racing stripes". that was cold comfort i guess.

"You have such a pretty face." (what about the rest of me?)

Is that the real size of your stomach, or did you get it puffed?

(Mmmm would this be one too?)

You're good (saying that to someone after their meltdown)

"I wish I could meet someone like you"