Odd things that you believed as a child

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But they do? Like if one is eating chicken, the nutriants are in the skin.

That we'd somehow be living like the Jetsons with flying cars and robots serving our every need and being able to do any mundane household chore quickly and instantly with the push of a button.

Instead, we're telling grown adults how to wash their hands properly and can't touch push-buttons at all because they're crawling with germs.

My parents couldn't use that one since I already had wavy hair. I would've caught on too soon. Besides, I didn't want my hair to be any curlier. I'd already broken a hairbrush in half before due to knotting.

Anyway, as a child I used to think that the term foodie was simply used to describe someone who ate food. So I would find it strange when people would call themselves foodies. My reaction would be "Um yeah, of course you are, you're alive".

I didn't understand how jokes worked either. Knock-knock jokes in particular. I didn't get the idea that they needed punchlines and was under the impression that people just sprouted nonsense in an attempt to be entertaining. The fact that they were supposed to have a joke in them evaded me. So I'd make up my own and it would just be a random tangent of a story after the chicken crossed the road.

Are you familiar with the parody version of the Happy Birthday song? The one that goes you belong in a zoo, you look like a monkey and you smell like one too!

Well, I didn't know that was playful teasing and a joke. The first time someone sang that to me I punched them in the face. After that the adults had to pull me aside and explain this to me.

Negatives: That there was a motorbike man trying to kidnap me most nights. I remember hearing the motorbike reoccurringly park outside the house and hear a man shout "we are coming to get you [my name]" at night. This was either external auditory illusions accompanied with paranoia or my brothers friends playing games.

Not so negative: I believed in aliens, not earth aliens but that there was life somewhere else in space. I believed in telepathic dream communication, that when I dreamed with people in the dream, that I had met the secondary person in another dimensional paradox of time and that they too experienced the same dream.

When I was younger, the idea that reality and books where two separate entities was a non existent contemplation/concept in my mind, so when I read I would visualise what was going on in the book and get so lost in it that it became reality.

I also believed my aunties dogs were trying to kill me.

I have vivid memories of my life as a small child when I lived with my parents in a cottage in the rural North East. We moved just before I was 5 so the following I would guess is when I was 3 or 4.

Sometimes my mother would give me a drink of water using a turquoise china cup. It was shiny white inside.

I loved it and would become excited when she let me drink from it.

It seemed very large to me at the time and I liked to look at the reflection of the top part of my face in the water as I drank. Probably due to the volume of water I never got to the bottom.

Because of this I was convinced that it was impossible to ever finish the water, it was as though it would simple replenish itself forever.

I would sit looking into the water taking the occasional sip for what seemed like ages until my mother would take it away to wash up.

I thought that it was a magic cup.

I used to think that all people with Asperger's get diagnosed at age 7 or 8, regardless of how "mild" they are. It wasn't until I came here when I was 20 that I actually learned that more people with Asperger's get diagnosed in adulthood than those that get diagnosed in childhood.

I used to think that if you throw an unplugged electrical thing like a TV into water, it will still blow up.

I used to think that cinema screens were like half a mile long. It was because I never saw a movie at a cinema until I was 12. Also I used to think that you could only watch Mickey Mouse movies at cinemas, don't ask me why.

respectively my older siblings brothers would week after week for months on end
that tomarrow was the end of the world.. And i would go ask my mother for my last piece of toast toasted dark.. cause in was to be my last piece of toast cause i believed them and wanted to have somethhing that tasted like carbon and grape jelly before i died . between 3 and 5 years old had a clear concept of what the end of the world meant.
Very odd types of humour NTs might have at the time at the expense of a younger aspie , whom could grasp concepts long before , one might normally expect.
More sad that, that was their only outlet for humour . Or other things as they aged .

In the first grades of elementary school, I didn't understand that all pupils had different skills. I thought maths were hard for everyone and that Norwegian was easy for everyone and that those who read poorly out loud were misbehaving. Especially one boy in my class read very poorly and I wondered why the teacher allowed him to do it. I thought that experience was the same for all my peers.
It wasn't until I was about 9 or maybe even 10 that I began to understand that it wasn't.

that people in england had reddish dookie.

That schoolyard bullies were undercover police officers working for law enforcement agencies.

that is not as far from the truth as you might imagine.

That may be true about chicken, I don’t know for sure, and I think it’s true of a lot of fruits and vegetables that most of the nutrients are in the skin (but again, I could be wrong, it’s been a while since I think I gained that information and my memory is generally questionable at best), but to the best of my knowledge it is not true that the nutrients in bread rise/sink to the crust while baking or anything like that. I only found out when I overheard my mom tell someone else that she used to have my brother and me convinced that all the nutrients in bread were in the crust and I said “Wait, they aren’t?”