fluffysaurus wrote:
^I was thinking it over. I am most traumatised when things go wrong due to the fact that it's a surprise. This leads
me to analyse it all over and over looking for clues so as not to repeat the same mistakes. Other people seem to
have picked up clues (it's all voodoo to me) and are more prepared. I never have any idea until things go wrong and
it knocks my confidence more than the thing going wrong itself does. If you can't tell whether something is a bomb
until it blows up in your face you can't help feeling reluctant to go near anything. I have no idea if that's remotely
what you meant, sorry.
I can relate.
With the bullying thing, I'm still trying to work out what happened and if I was in some way responsible for it, even though I was totally unaware of it at the time, and logic tells me I couldn't have been responsible.
Being unaware meant it really knocked me for a six when I found out, and if I could be unaware of that, what else am I unaware of?
But how can you know what you don't know?
Only by becoming paranoid of everyone and everything, and it's very difficult to live like that.
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It's like I'm sleepwalking