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It takes a while.

Will I be gone for a bit?

Only if a bit is gone for you.

Who's been making noises in the attic?

Mickey Mouse

How do I stop nightmares.

Eat more expired food before bed.

How would adding Herbert Hoover hugging the other four presidents improve Mt. Rushmore?

It would show that all five POTUS were...gay!

And therefore that none of them would ever have hung with Jeffery Epstein!




Will the US return to the Moon with astronauts in this century?

Yes and with lots of cans of spray paint so they can colorize it.

How do you make jerky from hotdog weenies?

Slice thinly, garnish with mayonnaise and place in the pockets of your favourite pants.
Place in clothes dryer on medium heat for 2 days.


If I travel back in time and kill my grandfather, will the paradox effect force me to rescue my genes by making me sleep with my grandmother?
(Is there a wrong answer to a wrong question?)

A TARDIS suddenly got less attractive.

No -- your grandmother will travel back in time and kill you before you kill your grandfather. Then she will go to prison and be unable to marry your grandfather.

How do refrigerators work?

Too the moon, Alice.

when will the sky turn green?

As soon as I can get the control panel working again. One minute ... *bang bang bang* okay hold on. F**kin thing. Let's try this...

What should I do when I have no internet connection?

Connect to the internet.


How is Moonshine made?

With moon water

How is chocolate made?

From a cow's anus.

Why was Noah crazy enough to save mosquitoes from extinction aboard his ark?

He was a sadist.

Apart from tempting the tigers, what did Noah in his free time?

He made a miniature ark in a bottle.
(I'm guessing an angel gave him the bottle)

How many pins can you stick in an angel?

None. They're so sweet I feel bad sticking any pins into them.

How much alcohol can you get an angel to drink?