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Freddy Got Fingered

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a person?

As many as you want, as long as the person can eat enough to power them all.

How many squirrels does it take to eat a grapefruit?

Squirrels don't eat grapefruit, they're carnivorous.

How many Mickey Bucks does it take to exchange them for one real American Dollar?

There are no more Mickey bucks. They were hunted to extinction for their antlers.

If all cars were required to be electric, and you needed to plug them in to recharge, and recharging took a long time...what would people living in apartment buildings do?

They would live in their cars and drive their apartments.

If a frog of mass 27kg and width 62cm is moving north at 12.3m/s, then collides with a tree 26m tall which is moving southeast at 8.7m/s, what kind of tree must it be if the frog can only eat 23% of it without exploding?

I'm gonna have to say...chimichanga.

What are some good reasons to visit lower Manitoba?

You could see all of the way from Hong Kong to Manitoba...unless you are munching on triffid chimichangas.

What is the next stop?

1 million miles until the next Oasis.

What if Friedrich Nietzsche was in a rock band?

He would join the band that took its name from one of his catchphrases: "Will to Power", learn to play the synth.
And record a three way medley of: Peter Frampton, Skynryd, and the Three Degrees!


https://youtu.be/CSvZy2IJNqA

What would Hegel do if he joined a rock band?

He would chase girls from New York City.


What should Koyaanisqatsi be the theme song for?

It WAS the theme song, and the music bed, of the entire movie of the same name. A nonfiction montage of modern life.

But I am supposed to give "wrong answers"...so...

Disney's "Happy Feet".


What is..."cold fusion"?

A very obscure frostpunk media franchise that never quite took off.

What song shall we sing for eternity no matter the consequences of our struggle?

Uhhhhhh...
It's either any versions of the Chicken Song, or original My Way.



Why is break dancing called break dancing?

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Because if you're good enough at it, you can break all your bones just by dancing.

What is the one most important thing you should know in life?

That uranium pellets go great in Chex Mix.

Fill in the blank
There's a party in my mouth and everybody's ________.