WP Addicts Anonymous

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in raleigh's bed

I said power nap , not marathon sex session

I think people show love in different ways and is one of the hardest things to describe.

Relational depth is usually felt and experienced at a level which is profound.

The experience of love can vary between people too which is another reason it is hard to tell someone else what it is like.

It can be highlighted by special moments experienced with a loved one or even a stranger.

Having said all of this I think Mr Raleigh has done a great job of explaining his experience and I agree with all of it.

Nearly an hour late, but here I am.

I've come to a conclusion as to why so many relationships [both in fiction and real life] ultimately fall apart, and I think it can be boiled down to one question:
Do they care, and if they care, is it at a core level?
If the intimate compassion and deep bond of genuine love isn't there, and the characters/people don't have enough in common, the relationship becomes shallow and based more or less on infatuation very quickly.

At least, this is how I see it.

I sometimes get the feeling that hardly anyone in the world knows what love is anymore.

I'm reminded of that verse in the bible that says that love is patient and kind and long-suffering.
Love to me feels like suffering, but it's a sweet suffering.
How that makes sense I don't know.
People tell me that love feels like joy, but that's impossible.
No one could feel joy for that long.

I don't know if I've ever experienced love. I'm sure I'd know it if I had...

I have the experience but not the words.
You have the words but not the experience.

Words confuse things anyway.

So much is dependent on words that in the end don't mean anything.

'Look at the moon, not the person pointing to it.'

I think we suffer because we make far more accommodations and sacrifices for the ones we love.

We accept all their flaws along with their qualities and get the same back.

It is far easier to forgive when love is involved.

"Words are dull servants who say less and worse than we feel".

Earle Birney, For George Lamming, 1964

I probably didn't explain well.
The feeling of love feels like pain or suffering, not that anything's been done to cause pain or suffering.
It literally feels like pain in my heart when I think of love.
People tell me that's not right, it shouldn't feel like that.

Ah, I get you. Mine is more in my tummy and it can move to my heart.

Some people can be very disconnected from these feelings too, Mr Raleigh.

For me the feeling is similar to pain but not quite that - more like a yearning which can change to a joy like brain freeze. I feel warm and glowing too.

But not all the time, as I said before, it is more about those moments.

how do you restore hope?

I've never found hope very useful.
It's another one of those things that seems meaningless.
"I hope you get better"
"I hope I don't die"
I find visualisation more useful.