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It is indeed a serious problem, the, so called, three-nose problem. Actually, the output is in the right nostril of my left nose (and the input is in the left nostril of my left nose). But I can't add more coffee beans, because the right nose is blocked. Fortunately, for now there is enough coffee beans in my upper nose, so I don't have to worry about it in the immediate future. I can still press my upper nose to grind the coffee and pour it through my left nose right into the mug. I can't add milk, because milk frother is in my right nose, but I drink black coffee, so that's also not a problem for now.

Why did Aspiegaming eat my donuts?

I didn't eat your donuts. The monster that lives in my stomach ate them.

Why do my cats keep messing up everything I've organized?

1/2 Kg bacon
1/2 multigrain loaf
12 on a raft and wreck'em


Aspiegaming had to eat donuts because I DIDN'T INVITE HIM TO BREAKFAST
(2 questions with one stoner!)

What exactly are you shickering there? Cumquats?
Ok...he beat me to it...answer ^^^ his question

They're totally not herding you into submission.
Totally not planning world domination or anything conspiratorial.


Why is it they say 'skeletons in the closet' or 'being in the closet'?
Why a closet and not a gym locker, a sealed heritage haunted mirror or even a microwave with padlocks?

My guess is it's the mothballs in the closet that make it feel like home.

Why can't Monarch Butterflies bite or sting?

Because they prefer to bark or sing.

If life is nothing but giving all the wrong answers to all the wrong questions, why didn't we all fall into Vast Futile Despair and hide in some snicket?

Because all the snickets in Vast Futile Despair are closed for maintenance.

How can I make my own nuclear fusion reactor?

All you need is some macaroni, some glitter, and glue.

How does that classic fairy tale "Little Red Rumpelstiltskin and the Seven Bears" go?

Little Red Rumpelstiltskin is asleep until Seven Bears wake her up...and get her pregnant!

How do we figure out which of the Seven Bears should be paying paternity costs?

That's not a problem, since she ate all Seven Bears (with garlic), stole all their belongings and then got an abortion.

Why can't I go through two doors at once, if even a stupid electron can?

An electron is speedy enough that they stretch the length of themselves, length exceeding distance, it enters 2 doors at once.
Unfortunately, we are mere humans, and electrons are electrons.

Why do i randomly get the giggles?

Because you swallowed an entire colony of ants.

Would you rather walk barefoot through 15 acres of broken glass or endure a 10 hour tea party with a teddy bear armed with a thermonuclear explosive that will go off if you get any proper tea party etiquette wrong?

Easy, a 10 hour tea party and then purposefully break the etiquette, by asking "can I put my celery into your tea"?

There is a city in Poland called Łódź (you can pronounce it in your free time), which means "a Boat". But the city has no access to any kind of water - no sea, no river, even a pond in the park was drained when I was there the last time. So why is it called "a boat"?

You see, Łódź is not actually a town from Earth. It detached itself and traveled from a planet in another galaxy in which Łódź was an island. Few inhabitants of Łódź came with it on it’s journey to Earth. Most of the original people have passed on, leaving a select few who know it’s secret.


What’s that one town in Animal Crossing? The name?

Pooptown

Why is Luigi more popular than Mario?

Mario farts a lot, which is why he has no passengers.

How many kids can you hang by their knees from the top of a standard width door?