WP Addicts Anonymous

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That sounds like a good plan.

Listening to it now because of reasons that Everlast brings up in the main chorus in I get by.

LOL visuals are rather unique in fullscreen mode...

I might not want to try and stand for a while.

If the universe were just, it would be possible to subsist entirely on Little Debbie cinnamon rolls.

I'm in Ottawa! That's why I've disappeared lately. I'm being a cute kitty, as usual, and I know have a new addition to my stuffy collection: a white kitty stuffy named Crystal.

^ Hello to all the people I know who are currently in Ottawa! (That would be one, in case you were wondering).

I applied for the same job I applied for before because it came back up on the job listing after disappearing for a while.
I would really like this job.
If I hope enough, will it happen?

I have a feeling I overshared yesterday
I get in this manic, chatty mood sometimes and I don't think about how what I write may affect others.
This is the only way I can really 'speak' to people and I think I go a bit overboard at times.
People don't really want to know all my past garbage.

On what topic?

I can't believe anyone over shares more then me but I am getting ready to leave again anyway cause I need to recharge from my parents and drama but I am here for the time being. I am thinking about doing Doom 4 all night and just not care about anything else. Doom 4 has been awesome today but I have an annoying bug that is at least present when running in a virtual machine and that is if I pause the game to eat or smoke and come back and unpause, the game is running at like 3 FPS. I have to reload the game but not the entire virtual machine, I am REALLY impressed with my PC to be about to max out Doom 4 at over 100 FPS inside a virtual machine. I have almost 1:1 performance to native Windows.

^ On talking about my many family skeletons-in-the-closet.
Who wants to know that really?
I haven't told anyone that.

*Anyone besides someone*

Blah.

Yeah well being overly emotional makes you vulnerable but its not a bad thing, you have to release negative emotions somewhere and its better here then somewhere else is the way I look at it but I am going to try and be honest with my therapist. I have been lying my head off saying I've been fine and I do so cause there is nothing she can do to help my social skills. I just have to accept that nothing will ever get better and I'll always be alone and everyone will always hate me. I have accepted it in isolation but once the drama starts its hard to get a stable foot hold emotional. Once the guilt and shame sets in over how horrible of a person I am then I'll just blare music as loud as I can and I can normally force bad stuff out of mind but I can't do that around my parents or anyone else for that matter.

Hell I am not suppose to do it here but my neighbors are in such bad shape they can't possibly complain on me because I will own them. They break the lease ten times more then I do so they have no foot to stand on when I am blaring music at 2:00 AM.

I think the only therapy that has ever been really helpful to me is self-compassion therapy.
I used to beat myself up so much worse than I do now.
It is possible to learn self-love through practice, and though I do still regress sometimes, I seem to be able to pull myself out of it quicker than I did before.

Yes I beat myself up a lot and my self-compassion therapy is isolation and down right selfishness.

I wish I could be in your shoes,

I've lived much longer than you and I've been through some very tough times to get where I am at now, where I can accept who I am and not want to kill myself because of the pain of past events.

I draw inspiration from Oli.

I've turned into a 'crazy cat lady'.

I just walked into my bedroom and saw the cat curled up on the bed, so I said, "Would you like me to open up the curtains? Make it a bit warmer?"
And I opened the curtains and thought to myself, "When did I start talking to my cat like that?"
I've been doing it a lot lately.
Honestly, before I got this cat I didn't even like cats that much.