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Joined: 11 Sep 2012
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Gender: Male
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Location: Hagerstown, MD

16 Dec 2024, 12:46 pm

The paedocypris progenetica.

Cookies and milk seem overdone. Do you think Santa would like cheese slices and Fanta instead?

_________________
I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
If my darkness or eccentricity offends you, I don't really care.
I will not apologize for being me.

There is no such thing as perfect. We are beautiful as we are. With all our imperfections, we can do anything.

DuckHairback
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16 Dec 2024, 3:17 pm

As all little kids know, Santas are born with a genetic defect which renders them incapable of digesting anything except moo juice and toasted wheat circles. Anything else causes complete shutdown of the digestive tract followed by an agonizing death. What you're proposing is Santacide.

What should I do to someone I meet under the mistletoe?

_________________

I don't know, man. I just don't know.

Aspiegaming
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16 Dec 2024, 4:32 pm

You beat each other up with giant portions of festive baked hams.

What fun would it be to ride in a four horse open sleigh?

Double Retired
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16 Dec 2024, 5:22 pm

Watching them slip and fall on the ice might be interesting.

Why is the U.S. President's home, the White House, white?

_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.

funeralxempire
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16 Dec 2024, 5:26 pm

The Brits demanded it be painted white in the Treaty of Ghent as a reminder of how they helped remodel it.

What was the first animal in space?

_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.

TwilightPrincess
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16 Dec 2024, 5:47 pm

A rabid skunk.

What subject should kids be required to take in school that they aren’t already?

_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot

utterly absurd
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Age: 21
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,287
Location: Wisconsin

16 Dec 2024, 7:37 pm

Cheese Studies 101

What would be an appropriate gift to give on the 97th day of Christmas?

_________________
Diagnosed ASD, ADHD, Tourettes age 5
They/them
Feel free to PM me--I like to talk about most things other than sports

Double Retired
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16 Dec 2024, 9:19 pm

An abacus.

What is in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean?

_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.

Carbonhalo
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17 Dec 2024, 3:30 am

The great Atlantic garbage gyre, home to Behemoths, Krakens and a coconut palm.

If the sea level rises 20 metres, how far away would your nearest beach be, and would you need a boat to reach it?

Double Retired
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17 Dec 2024, 11:44 am

The distance to the nearest beach wouldn't matter, I could catch a ride with a Kraken.

What is the next movie to come out that I will enjoy?

_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.

Double Retired
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20 Dec 2024, 9:48 pm

You will never, ever enjoy a movie again.

What movie should be made?

_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.

P. Zombie
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21 Dec 2024, 10:11 am

If you won't enjoy a movie again, no movies should be made anymore, cause what's the point. I've already sent petitions to Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood and any other woods I could think of.

Why won't you ever enjoy a movie again?

_________________
Recently diagnosed with ASD, still skeptical.
Feel free to PM me if you want to or are really bored.

Either overthink or don't think at all - there's no middle way.

Aspiegaming
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21 Dec 2024, 11:08 am

Because movies have been replaced with new technology that beams you right into the action. Unfortunately, you can get killed in the moments which will leave you brain dead in real life.

Who would you invite to your Christmas party?

Double Retired
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21 Dec 2024, 3:07 pm

Well, not me, obviously. I'm an Aspie and probably wouldn't enjoy the party.

What should you do to make sure Aspies can enjoy a party?

_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.

utterly absurd
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21 Dec 2024, 4:14 pm

Turn the music to just above the level required to induce immediate hearing damage. A swarm of angry bees might help too, but those can be expensive.

Why don't ducks drive cars?

_________________
Diagnosed ASD, ADHD, Tourettes age 5
They/them
Feel free to PM me--I like to talk about most things other than sports

Aspiegaming
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21 Dec 2024, 4:44 pm

But they can. They just do it when there's no human traffic.

Why when I type cat, my phone autocorrects to car?

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