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His odor

What does Trump smell like?

Like hyacinth on a spring morning.

Why is the Earth shifting its magnetic poles?

The increased affordability of intercontinental travel in the last 50 years has resulted in a large number of souvenir fridge magnets moving around the planet and interfering with the Earths natural magnetic field.

What sort of animal would you keep in a magnetic field?

Chickens, since they need to store the magnetic force before they migrate south.

How to be one with the force?

Lick a power outlet.

Why can't penguins fly?

Penguins can fly! The problem is they always pack so much luggage the gate won't let them board.

When will Elon Musk and Donald Trump admit the obvious and marry each other?

After Musk finds a ring wide enough for Trump's potato fingers.

When will the dodo be back?

Hopefully in a few hours--it wasn't expecting to get stuck in traffic.

What's the cheapest place to buy elbows?

The soup store.

There are three fried chicken restaurants: One where fried chicken comes in a bucket, one where it comes in a box, and one where it comes in a bag. The bag of chicken is the cheapest option, but the chicken is way too greasy to where it leaks through the bag and they don't provide enough napkins. Why don't they provide enough napkins?

Mycroft Holmes came and ate all the chicken and all the napkins.

Why is the Earth turning?

Because the moon keeps tapping it on the shoulder, then looking away nonchalantly.

What's that smell?

Easter Bunny hid the eggs a tad bit too early.

What will Santa bring this year?

Claws. Santa is very fond of crab.

Why is it so cold outside?

Santa has decided to build a naughty punishment machine to grind up massive amounts of coal and then rain coal dust all over the world.

Why is the ceiling all sticky?

The neighbour's strawberry jam jars have exploded.

When will the world end?

In 5...4...3...2...1...

Why didn't the world end?