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Start with a male frog and a female frog...

What if you don't have a male frog and a female frog?

According to the Philly buster documentary Sesame Street by Ken the Pyromaniac, you can substitute the female frog with a female pig. You can tell that it's a female pig if she's wearing lipstick.

Who set the world speed record before automobiles and how?

The little old lady from Pasadena. She'd give 'em a length, then shut 'em down.

Who invented the wheel?

Egyptian aliens invented the wheel to help reverse the flow of the Nile as the Mediterranean was turning into the Terranean as it emptied into African Pangea. Suddenly, the reversal cause the Sphinx to give natural birth via a Caesarian salad to the Great Pyramids. Being so great, they settlers to settled into settlements for rich sediment and start Ancient Egypt. This happened three times so far.

Who said the first curse word and why?

The first curse word was uttered by Wilhelm von Fückberg in 1894 while he was looking for new ways to make people angry. People were skeptical of the idea that simply saying a meaningless word could successfully escalate any interaction, but in the end it worked perfectly and Fückberg is now remembered as the "father of swearing".

What's the point of lamps when the only thing we really need to see is our phone screens?

People still need lampshades to wear when they get plastered at parties.

Where do bananas come from?

Bananas come from the European region known as France. They're the final version (beta) of pineapples before they're released to the public as final versions. Bonus: Potatoes, which are the terranean apples, also come from this region.

What ailments do pineapples and potatoes cure?

The city is in peril, but a new superhero will save the day. His name is Spider-Corn. How will he save the city?

By dropping 48 FAB-250 bombs on most critical infrastructure and then planting some corn on it's place.

As pineapples were mentioned... What are they and what they have common with pines and apples?

Pineapples grow on trees that are a hybrid of Japanese pine trees and Fugi apple trees. They came into existence when Johnny Appleseed got into and automobile accident with Marco Polo.

Why do some people believe the earth is flat?

Because they are too busy looking down at their phone to ever look up and see that the Earth is not flat

If the Earth is not flat, what shape is it?!

The earth is a rhombicosidodecahedron because it's actually a computer program.

Why do aliens abduct people?

They use them as makers of cheap tacos.

How to build an alien ship?

All that's required is a 3-D printer and lots of marshmallow fluff.

Will AI take over the world?

AI has already taken over the world. Do you see any signs of natural intelligence?

What movie is not about Autistics but describes them very well...and how?