Had a dream last night that my former best friend/love interest and I were back on good terms with each other, and since in that particular dream same-sex marriage was legal, I was going to ask her to marry me.
Why does this make me sad?
Because that will never happen in real life. I'm not talking about same-sex marriage - that will most likely become legal with time - but about my relationship with my former best friend/love interest. It's been like over 7 years since the argument that ended our friendship, but something inside me just doesn't want to let it go. She was the first person who I ever truly fell in love with, and all these years later I still feel like she is the only one who would ever be "right" for me. I love her so much that I can even imagine raising children with her, and normally I hate kids.
She slips into my daydreams frequently, and I have nighttime dreams about her on a regular basis. I'm not sure whether the daydreams are causing the nighttime dreams or vice-versa, or if they both feed into each other. Either way it's taking a toll on me emotionally. I have tried talking to therapists about it but they basically blow me off, saying "you just need to let it go". Maybe I don't have the right tools for letting it go and if they would have actually given me some advice instead of just telling me what every average Joe on the street tells me, I would have gotten over it. 