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lostonearth35
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27 May 2025, 7:32 pm

About as popular as Burger Thing.

Why are eggs kept in the dairy section of the grocery store if they don't contain any milk?



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27 May 2025, 9:07 pm

Because eggs are white and brown just like milk and chocolate milk.

Why did the Egyptians build pyramids?



utterly absurd
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27 May 2025, 9:34 pm

They tried to build rhombic dodecahedra, but they kept falling over.

If I had 7 ears, what would that make me?


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28 May 2025, 4:39 pm

A buffalo.

What is the curse of Evil Tim and how does it effect us all?


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30 May 2025, 2:11 pm

Evil Tim's curse, also known as Angry Bat Syndrome, is when a person inexplicably becomes easily tauntable by louse named Kerry.

Why did the FDA prohibit the sale of cadmium eggs?


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09 Jun 2025, 5:11 pm

Naturalists thought it was cruel to sell the eggs. They thought it better to wait until the eggs had hatched and the young cadmium lizards could defend themselves.

Which room in your house should you store the Moon in?


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Deinonychus
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10 Jun 2025, 2:53 am

The Moon should be stored in the kitchen refrigerator along with the other cheese.

Why is it a long way to Tipperary?



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10 Jun 2025, 7:36 am

Because of speed limit signs saying you must travel there no faster than .001 MPH on foot.

You are in a forest and you spot a unicorn. The unicorn approaches you and whispers softly into your ear "Butter Lettuce." How do you respond?


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I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
If my darkness or eccentricity offends you, I don't really care.
I will not apologize for being me.

There is no such thing as perfect. We are beautiful as we are. With all our imperfections, we can do anything.


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10 Jun 2025, 10:11 am

"That was nice of her!" (It has a speech impediment. What it meant "But, her let us!")

What is the easiest way to see zombies in person and safely!


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lostonearth35
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10 Jun 2025, 3:23 pm

Just go to any teenage hangout and you'll see the zombies on their phones.

If pouring salt on slugs shrivels them up, why are there slugs living in the ocean?



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12 Jun 2025, 9:34 am

Because sea slugs are actually discarded sweat socks dumped into the ocean.

I require a tasty treat. Something sweet, but not cold. What could it be?


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I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
If my darkness or eccentricity offends you, I don't really care.
I will not apologize for being me.

There is no such thing as perfect. We are beautiful as we are. With all our imperfections, we can do anything.


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12 Jun 2025, 9:40 am

The hiring manager's face.

How do you overcome learned helplessness?



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12 Jun 2025, 5:57 pm

As long as you eat enough cheese, you should overcome it within a couple weeks.

What's the passcode on my phone?


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12 Jun 2025, 6:12 pm

1111

Describe inverse paranoia.


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I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
If my darkness or eccentricity offends you, I don't really care.
I will not apologize for being me.

There is no such thing as perfect. We are beautiful as we are. With all our imperfections, we can do anything.


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12 Jun 2025, 9:05 pm

aionarap

Why would anyone choose "1111"?


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I finally knew why people were strange.


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14 Jun 2025, 11:20 pm

Because it looks like four people in a conga line.

Who's the life of the party and who's the death of the party?


_________________
I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
If my darkness or eccentricity offends you, I don't really care.
I will not apologize for being me.

There is no such thing as perfect. We are beautiful as we are. With all our imperfections, we can do anything.