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oh my god. so i was reading my assignment reading about bushfires and there was a quote by h.g. wells and he's talking about australia defending itself militarily and it didnt sound like a socialist thing to say. i've known he identified as one since i was a kid but i never looked into his politics and it made me wonder what they were so i looked at his wikipedia page and he supported ww1 from early on and eugenics among other objectionable things! he's a monster! he is no socialist! i feel dirty for liking his books now. really dirty. im so disappointed as well.

Well........ I woke up again. I need to sleep. It will come no later than 2am mah time.

there is no such thing as "random".
every manifestation that takes place in the universe takes place because it is inevitable.

from a human perspective, "inevitability" is an amorphous notion.
but ultimate inevitability is the result of all preceding modifiers to the current circumstance ,
and the current circumstance was caused by precedents that were not accidental.

i do not believe in either accidents or miracles. they are very closely related to each other

Life just slow down, slow down please.

Nice to see the first Press Your Luck ep.

I'm glad that I'm not the only autistic person in my community for, I would feel completely alone.

I love wrapping up nice and warm in the fall and winter months.

I just purchased myself a new raincoat yesterday at a yard sale.

Life is passing us by too fast.

i have compliled a pros and cons table to help me decide whether or not i should go with my uncle to lebanon.

pros:
food
HELEM & meem(queer rights groups) --> give them the books i meant to give them 3 years ago
Nasawiya & anti racism movement(feminist and antiracist activist groups)
protests? meetings?
Social Forum(socialist group with my politics)
buy toul omry + out loud(queer arab films), political shirts, kiffeyeh, out magazine, turkish delight, palmitto, racist chocolate
look for graffiti
check out public library system
new species of plants to check out
possibly not have to spend christmas with half of family

cons:
family & family friends
uncle hindering ability engage with left
gran smells like cigarettes
crap/no internet
no SAlt, missing out on protests, postering
will miss home
no gardening
it's cold
christmas?
conservative sectarians everywhere
don't know how SSI will get affected
pressure to socialise and party & with people i think are nitwits
re-closted
routines obliterated
no books

this list isn't helping. the question isn't how many things i have on each but how much i value whats on the list.

I wish I could be in LA again.

Just only two more weeks this Wednesday, than I won't have to deal with that woman anymore.

Getting stuck again with another problem where I don't know what I'm doing... this is happening too often.

Oh my, what to do at 3:30am in the morning (my time)?