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SaveFerris
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03 Jan 2018, 9:42 am

naturalplastic wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
PBL187 wrote:
Does anyone know where I can buy tartan paint?


Don't be silly.

It's called "plaid paint".


Should be in any hardware store. Right next to the polka dot paint, and the striped paint.


Underneath the sky hooks and elbow grease


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EzraS
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03 Jan 2018, 1:03 pm

b9 wrote:
i like to ring random numbers, and when they tell me i have rang the wrong number, then i say "well why did you answer it then you moron?!"

lmao



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03 Jan 2018, 2:24 pm

The man who goes to bed with a sex problem wakes up with solution in hand


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lostonearth35
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08 Jan 2018, 12:28 pm

When I separate the white clothes from the dark clothes when I do laundry so the white clothes won't turn grey, is that racist?



b9
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08 Jan 2018, 10:46 pm

i'm going to take out a 2 million dollar life insurance policy and name the benefactor as myself.



b9
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08 Jan 2018, 10:50 pm

i am going to change my name to "john doe". that way, if ever they discover my body and never identify it, at least i would have the correct name on my toe tag.

i wonder if i was given a headstone, would it say "here lies john doe. sadly missed by those who knew him" ?



blackicmenace
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08 Jan 2018, 10:50 pm

EzraS wrote:
Important reminder: There's no I in team and no F in way.


Critical update, there certainly is an i in TEAM, it's in the A-hole.


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b9
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08 Jan 2018, 10:52 pm

it is a shame that dictionaries do not have an index of contents.
how do you know which page a word you want to know is on without a bloody index?



b9
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08 Jan 2018, 11:07 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Important reminder: There's no I in team and no F in way.

i will address this first.
i do not understand it.
i have heard the "no i in team" thing plenty of times, but the "no 'f' in 'way'" thing eludes me.
my guess is that sometimes, young americans say "no effin' way" as a polite abbreviation of a more profane statement.
in fact. i think that i may have it there. i didn't get it until i thought about it, but maybe i only thought i could get it.

blackicmenace wrote:
Critical update, there certainly is an i in TEAM, it's in the A-hole.


that one is very cryptic indeed. it is over my head.

ok...after a few minutes consideration (since i give you the benefit of the doubt about your wits) i imagine you mean "team" as in "batting for the other team" which is an euphemism for "gay".
and when you say "i am in the a**hole of the team......"
nahh doesn't work or bear further consideration.
explain it please?



b9
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08 Jan 2018, 11:23 pm

i have just finished writing a book for illiterate people called "how to read"



blackicmenace
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08 Jan 2018, 11:26 pm

b9 wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Important reminder: There's no I in team and no F in way.

i will address this first.
i do not understand it.
i have heard the "no i in team" thing plenty of times, but the "no 'f' in 'way'" thing eludes me.
my guess is that sometimes, young americans say "no effin' way" as a polite abbreviation of a more profane statement.
in fact. i think that i may have it there. i didn't get it until i thought about it, but maybe i only thought i could get it.

blackicmenace wrote:
Critical update, there certainly is an i in TEAM, it's in the A-hole.


that one is very cryptic indeed. it is over my head.

ok...after a few minutes consideration (since i give you the benefit of the doubt about your wits) i imagine you mean "team" as in "batting for the other team" which is an euphemism for "gay".
and when you say "i am in the as*hole of the team......"
nahh doesn't work or bear further consideration.
explain it please?


If you look at A there is literally an i, you just have to deconstruct it. The dot is in the top part of a capital A and it is the dot of a lowercase i. So, i is the selfish A-hole in TEAM. A picture would be worth a thousand words at this very moment.


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EzraS
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08 Jan 2018, 11:31 pm

Autism is only in the mind.



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08 Jan 2018, 11:42 pm

Autism is actually or-tism.



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09 Jan 2018, 1:22 am

Why do Americans refer to getting tap water from a faucet? Shouldn't it be faucet water?


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09 Jan 2018, 1:28 am

I've never seen a purple cow I never hope to see one. But if there were a purple cow I'd rather see than be one.



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09 Jan 2018, 9:34 am

Elephants can get fleas, but fleas can not get elephants.