What you really shouldn't name your kid!

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Patience

I read a book once where there was a character whith this name. It was a historical fiction book, and, as you can guess, she was named that because her parents were religious. But really, if someone was to be called that today...

Unibrow.
Salmonella.
Flagella Whipcrack O'Toole.
Mozzarella D'Arcy Stapleplant.
Novella Thrushlette.
Paella Quincy-Jayne.

Jetpac

Astroglide

F*ckinguselesstrojanseveniftheyareribbedforyourpleasure

I know someone called Rose Bush.

Umlaut

I went to school with a Melody Musick (who was a clarinet player, btw) and a Crystal Shanda Lear (she went by Chrissy).

the name "trixie" reminds me of an overly made up tart as does the name "stella".
a shy and demure person called "stella" may find her name uncomfortable to report.

the name "esmerelda" invokes an image of a "wielder of crystal balls and deception" to me.
people may find it hard to take a person named "esmerelda" seriously with respect to important advice.

the name "rayleen" reminds me of a dry minded and boring person. i do not regard it as a seriously bad name, however i would not ascribe it to an infant.

there are many people who name their children after their favourite TV characters. (my sister called her child samantha (from bewitched)).
i think that the name "pebbles" may be an interesting name to give a girl because i was very captivated by her personality in the flintstones.

"xanadu" would probably be an embarrassing name to have if one was a normal teenage girl.

my sister had a cat she labelled "princess", and she used to call her "prinny".
maybe "princess" is a good name for a child as well. if her surname was "smith", then it maybe quite a precipitous conceptual step for her to quote her name "princess smith".

then i started to wonder whether names reserved for dogs may be also attributable to humans.

i think that "spot" may be an interesting name to give to a son.

it would not matter the surname, "spot" is not a great launchpad for any recital of one's name. the utterance of (eg:) "spot mcclean's the name" would make me immediately go into a laughing fit.

"rover" is another name that one may explain away by saying their father was a hiker in the mountains and a bit daft.

"fido" is not subtle enough to get away with naming a child, so i will ignore it.


culturally odd names may also be questionable.

if 2 blonde caucasians have a blonde caucasian son, then to call him "arkmed" (spelled that way) may invite annoying questions from people he meets in later life.

there have been ladies in the past called "ruby".

what about the names "diamond" and "sapphire" and a particularly interesting sounding "amethyst".

"hello this is Amethyst Mcdougal speaking, how can i help you?"

"hi!! my name's Sapphire Jones!! what's yours?"


i think calling a boy "ser" (pronounced in the same way as "sir") would be interesting.

teachers would have to refer to him that way. "ser, could you just sit down?"

when they ask a question where one has to put their hand up to answer, the teacher would have to say "yes ser?"

I once knew a classmate during my high school years whose name was Rose Flowers.
She was nice, although a bit bitchy at times.

These names were listed in the newspaper a few months ago (under ''most ricidulous names'' or something like that)

Bear
Alaska
Chaos
Trooper
Alpha
Corny
Buffy
Boo
Walla
Captain
Bimbo
Water
Number One

These are NOT nicknames by the way, they are real first names of some British newborn babies. There's loads more, and I was laughing my head off when I was reading these. Some people....

I must admit, I do like some unique names what I would call my children if I ever have any. I seem to like names that are to do with the year/weather, like:-

Sunny
Skye
Summer
Autumn
April
Sundae

I even know someone who called their baby girl November, and I quite liked it.

Bumface