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My future seemed full of promise when I was 9. Now it seems that little has changed for trans people. My mum was surprised that I didn't like any of the dresses in the Target flyer. She doesn't get that after nearly 40 years that I still won't wear a dress.

I wish that the flavor of chewing gum lasted for more than 15 seconds.

Someone (who doesn't have children) just said to me "I've got to drop the kids off at the pool" as he walked off to go to the toilet.

My first thought was "Is he talking about his nieces and nephews?"

Then I got it.

I had a very Aspie night last night. I went up the club to see an ABBA cover band and in the area where we were, everyone was standing and talking to other people and I was just sitting in my chair all alone, as usual feeling sort of odd and left out but in NO WAY wanted to partake in it. I never feel lonely. It's like - I don't want to be social. I just wish someone would show an interest in me!

I'm glad I decided to visit my parents and Chico instead of staying home for another weekend. Chico has Peahawk shaped eyes, except they're brown and I love having him next to me. :O)

I spoke my mind in the Music forum and I have a feeling I'm going to get burned for it. I won't be visiting that thread for a few weeks.

What a great day for me.

Gah. OCD is like a vampire sucking my life away.

All I wanted to do was sit down and read for a little while.

But my brain is telling me, "Wait, before you do that, you need to wash those hands."

So I wash my hands, but that's not good enough. So next I'm scrubbing my hands with a soapy washcloth over the bathtub.

But that wasn't good enough either, so next I'm stripping down and taking a shower, even though I just took one.

Now I'm out, and my brain is still telling me, "Not good enough." I won't be able to touch a book until after my next shower.

Goddamnit.

I don't like waking up randomly at odd hours of the morning with not enough sleep.

I think the reason I'm afraid to say exactly what's on my mind, is because I've been chastised for doing so, many times as a child.

I also appreciate the meme.

I really should throw this old piece of gum away.

i drank a can of bourbon and coke that i found in my fridge, and now i am all talkative, but i guess the things i have to say are still the same things that i would not otherwise bother to say when entirely sober.

anyway, today i was told that i should name my cat.

a cat turned up in my backyard one day about 3 months ago whilst i was feeding a kookaburra, and it was emaciated and weak and it meowed at me in a very desperate way so i gave it some meat and.....blah blah blah, it is now my pet.

but a minor problem i have after all this time is that i do not know whether it is a boy or a girl. i am kind of curious, but whenever it starts licking it's nether regions (when i would have a clear view), i feel somewhat reticent to look at it because i do not want to intrude on it's modesty, and moreover, i do not want it to think i am interested in those parts for any carnal reasons.

i sneak peeks at it's backside as it walks away from me, but i can not tell whether it is a boy or a girl.
a girl i know asked me what i have named the cat, and i told her that i call it something different every time i talk to it.

she expressed surprise that i had not bothered to name the cat, but how could i name it? i have no idea what it should be called. i do not care if it is a boy or a girl really. i think it is a girl because from the most detailed glimpses i snuck of her backside, i only saw a small slit and no dual protuberances that would indicate testicles.

i do have names for my cat.
tonight she was called "polly winkle" because she was asleep and i touched her ears and made them flick, and they reminded me of butterflies, but she started to get rather cranky after a short while, and her tail started to swish, and i just felt at that moment that i would say "she's just a little pollywinkle isn't she" and she scratched me. she must be a girl i therefore conclude.

but if it is a girl or a boy, i have no intention of ascribing a name to it. (she is asleep in my bed at this moment and i love her so much)

That's a lovely story b9!