Got Anything Random To Say

Post Reply New Topic

i encountered a circumstance today where i needed to pour some fluid into a small bottle, and so i set off to the supermarket to procure myself a funnel.

i asked the girl at the store to find me a funnel that would fit into a narrow necked bottle, and she presented me with a set of 3 plastic funnels (small medium and large) that were tied together with a plastic strip, and i said that i only wanted one, but she said that that was all the store had, and i asked her again whether they would be satisfactory for use with a narrow necked bottle, and she said "yes".

when i got home, i cut the plastic strip and tried the large funnel and it wouldn't fit, and then i tried the medium one and it also did not fit. only the small funnel fit, but the girl at the shop told me they were suitable for narrow necked bottles, but only one of them was.

then i tried to think of how i may be incorrect in my interpretation of the roles of each of the 3 funnels, and i came up with the idea that the large funnel was supposed to be used to pour the liquid into the medium funnel that was supposed to flow into the small funnel, and this would only be necessary if one had such unsteady hands that one could not aim the liquid into the catch bowl of anything smaller than the largest funnel.

upon reconsideration, i found that this use of the funnels would be unfeasible due to the necessity of having to have 4 hands in order to perform the task.
still desperately trying to save the supermarket money, i then reasoned that maybe one should call for a helping set of hands in order to complete the task, but i then ruled that out because the likelyhood that the second person's hands would be as unsteady as the original person's hands is low, and so the second person could pour the liquid into the bottle using only one funnel by themself thus rendering the other funnels superfluous.

after exhausting all avenues of reason in order to give them the benefit of the doubt, i am going to have to take the other 2 redundant funnels back to the shop tomorrow and demand 2/3 of my money back.

they cost $10, and i deserve $6.66666666666 (repeating) in refunds, so i should round it up to $6.67, but since i am a charitable man, i will leave it at $6.66.

they say "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands", but what do you do if you're happy and you don't know it?

^ You ask for a refund.

The other day I told my mother about a YouTube video I'd seen with people on Family Feud giving out the usual dumb answers. I told her that all the contestants shown were black, it didn't appear to be a coincidence that they were and therefor it was racist. She told me "But the host on Family Fued is also black". I told her yes but people of different skin color give dumb answers all the time so it looked like whoever made the video was implying that all black people are stupid or uneducated. I thought it was disgusting.

I'm taking a screen shot of this because I want to remember how the old WP website looked.

I found another half-knitted glove.

They're having the Santa Claus parade at night this year, but I don't know if it's this Saturday or the next, or what time it officially starts. I also would like to go to the flea market tomorrow but I don't know for sure they've moved it back to the government wharf at the harbor. The summer and fall too many travelers come to go on cruises and such they relocate it to some place that's too for me to walk to, there's no bus on Sundays and taking a cab costs too much. Frustrating!

I can't wait to see what the new Wrong Planet is going to look like.

^ Thirded.

^^ Fourthed.

?To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.?

"If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine."

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said. 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."

"It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight."

"I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties."

"I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on."

Jack Handy

Goodnight, old forum.

Just trying to see if WP is locked as I don't know what time 8:30pm EST is here.