I confess.....

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I sometimes blame it on my bed its too noisy

I blame everything on my cats. It's very convenient, since they can't argue with me.

I confess. I'm bored with the silly gas jokes I continue to post.

I confess I sometimes feel like a grumpy ol' man.

I confess I feel the same way, and I am not even out of puberty!

I don't want to know what I will be like at 30.....

Maybe there's some truth in that...

I confess, the stars look especially beautiful to me tonight. There was a time in my life, not so long ago, when I thought that the ability to be awed by such beauty was in a part of me that had died. Maybe it was just hibernating; or maybe I'm finally going completely mad. I confess that the notion of looking back in time when I look up at a stary sky, out into the universe, is fascinating to me. I confess that I believe this feeling comes from the same part of me that can be awed by beauty; perhaps there is some hope; I need to focus, need to hold onto it, prevent it from slipping away, slipping back into the darkness... There was a time in my life, a bit farther than not so long ago, when I new the stars by name, and knew how far back in time I was looking when I gazed at each one in turn; that knowledge seems absent in my current version. Perhaps I will try to find an older backup of myself, and integrate it with the current version. The possiblity of engram collisions in the merge raises stability concerns, but at this point, I don't see how things could possibly get worse in that department. Might be worth a shot. Of course, I need to find working backup first...

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Stargazer

Oh dear Icarus!

I confess... every night when I go out for my run, the Big Dipper catches my eye straight off, if there are no clouds out. Every time I see this constellation I am reminded of how I used to study astronomy as a child, and how very many contellations I could point out.

That's all gone now. You say, "Perhaps I will try to find an older backup of myself, and integrate it with the current version." This is my mantra of late. Where have I gone? What do I like? What am I interested in? Which parts of me are my own and which are simply swaying to the wishes of others? Another friend helped me put words to this feeling, tonight.

I finally cried just now, thinking of the stars. Isn't that odd? I've been needing to cry for weeks, over my own pain. And I could not manage to make a single tear fall, until now. And I am crying because I gave up the constellations I loved so much. How funny!

I confest-I have nothing to confess so...
Gwen is pretty

i confess the following sentence has taken my vocabulary by storm since this morning

"get out of my dreams and into my car"

i cant stop saying it

I confess I work too hard these days (which can be a good thing )

I confess I read this hours ago, but the song and video are still in my head. Thanks Richard!


"Get Outta My Dreams" by Billy Ocean

Hey you, get in to my car
Who me?
Yes you, get in to my car
Woooooooooh. Wah! Hey!

Who's that lady
Coming down the road
Who's that lady
Who's that woman
Walking through my door
What's the score
I'll be the sun
Shining on you
Hey Cinderella
Step in your shoe
I'll be your non-stop lover
Get it while you can
Your non-stop miracle
I'm your man

Get outta my dreams
Get in to my car
Get outta my dream
Get in to the back seat baby
Get in to my car
Beep Beep, yeah
Get outta my mind
Get in to my life
Ooooooh
Oh I said hey (Hey) you (You)
Get in to my car

Oh baby

Lady driver
Let me take your wheel
Smooth operator
Touch my bumper (Bumper)
Hey, let's make a deal
Make it real
Like a road runner
Coming after you
Just like a hero
Outta the blue
I'll be your non-stop lover
Get it while you can
Your non-stop miracle
I'm your man

Get outta my dreams
Get in to my car
Get outta my dreams
Get in the back seat baby
Get in to my car
Beep beep, yeah
Get outta my mind
Get in to my life
Ooooh
Oh I said hey (Hey) you (You)
Get in to my car

Oh baby, lets go!

I said open the door
(Get in the back)
Tread on the floor
(Get on the track)

Yeah (Yeah) yeah (Yeah)
Yeah (Yeah) yeah (Yeah)

Let's go!!

Oooh, wooow, yeah

I'll be the sun
Shining on you
Hey Cinderella
Step in your shoe
I'll be your non-stop lover
Get it while you can
Your non-stop miracle
I'm your man

Get outta my... get outta my...
Woooooooooh
Get out my dreams

My words are having the most unintended effects recently. First I spook Aridarr so badly that she goes into a fit, now I make you cry. What's next? Hey, Pugly; I'm going to PM you my special recipe for spicy lamb vindaloo, using my own custom blend of curry; the first bite will be delicious, but the second will inadvertently send you into anaphylactic shock due to the special blend of spices.

I confess, making you cry was the furthest thing from my mind when I posted that last bit.

The Big Bear's always been my favourite since I've lived in the northwest. It always served as a place to get oriented from, the origin of my mental star map so to speak. From there to Cygnus, and from Cygnus to one of my old favorites, tiny Delphinus. I used to love Delphinus because it was so small and unassuming, and few stop to appreciate it. When I lived in Florida, and winter was the clear season, my map origin used to be Orion; I spent many a night peering at the little smudge of the Orion nebula. Strange, I didn't need to look any of that up...

In any case, I confess that gazing out into the universe helps give me a sense of perspective. When I was younger, doing so would tend to make me feel small and insignificant; now, it just fills me with a sense of peace and awe and just a bit of wonder. I enjoy considering the vastness of what I see in terms of space as well as time (which I hinted at earlier when I mentioned looking back in time). So much room for possibility, and we are but a brief spark somewhere in it all... I confess that I dislike being constrained by time, pinned down by this one dimension, able to clearly see what's behind us but seldom what is in front of us. I confess, I spend quite a bit of thought pondering ways to defeat the fetters of time, "the fire in which we burn". Which, interestingly, leads me to...


No; latent precognition (on your part). You recently changed your avatar to an image of Harle; she has a false smile painted on her face. But look... What else has she painted there? I wonder why...

EDIT: You and you're freaking avatar schizophrenia. I was referring to this one:



Well, I suppose my rambling triggering your thought process that led to this served a good purpose. I like to believe that crying is one of the most effective yet least destructive forms of emotional purge; I hope it makes you feel better without knocking you off kilter.

Guys have a bit of a stigma attached to crying; some of us are bound by that stigma more than others. For my own part, I tend to try to avoid crying, but doing so is probably unhealthy, as the alternative is just to shove everything deep down inside me somewhere... I confess, the last time I really, really sobbed was a few years ago, when one of my cats became seriously ill and needed to be put down. I had my hand on her as she took her last breath; she even managed just the slightest bit of purr with that last breath; I went home, locked myself in my office, and sobbed for a couple of hours. But, it was cathartic in a very interesting way; and it also made me look death right in the eye.

I confess, a year or so ago when I was on my own, I did some experimenting (in private) with trying to understand my own emotions better; as part of this, I would watch emotionally charged movies, and allow myself to shed just a few tears over the sad bits. This is going to be inordinately geeky but... I confess, the instance that stands out most in my mind among those experiments was when Data died at the end of Star Trek: Nemesis. Data had become like a brother to me throughout the 7 seasons + movies of Star Trek TNG, a fictional but true kindred spirit. When he was destroyed, the loss I felt was astounding. Some of the reasons I felt kinship with him will be fairly obvious to the audience here; some others are much deeper, and less apparent, and will probably slip by unnoticed. But so it is with many things.


You know... They're still up there.

Good fortune,

- Icarus, Soong-type model 3, revision 9.3.0

Last edited by Icarus_Falling on 12 Sep 2007, 12:57 am, edited 2 times in total.

I confess that I think it would be awesome to have a water fountain in my room.

I confess I don't drink enough water and end up with bad headaches because of it

I confess I've been down.

I confess I didn't get much done today. I just hung around, wasted time, drank lots of coffee, browsed the internet and tried to look busy without really doing anything. "I lacka disciprine."