What's on your mind right now?

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Why people refuse to reply. What am I expecting though, an 'I'm replying to tell you that I won't be replying'?

I'm trying not to have a panic attack. I've had pain now for several hours and it's really not the worst pain possible, but it is ongoing cramps and sometimes they get worse and you don't know when it's going to happen and I have a low pain threshold. Then the panic is making my stomach hurt more. I just keep thinking how in the heck am I going to go to work tomorrow? It's been a long time since I've had an IBS attack like this. And Waldo keeps bothering me when I can't stand to have anything or anyone near me right now. I need to lay down in my room and relax and deep breathe. I feel like I want to cry, but that won't help. I'd like to go to the doctor and get some bentyl to see if that would work, but I know all they are going to want to do is a damn colonoscopy when I already know what I have because I've been dealing with it for years. There's no way to diagnose IBS - it just goes by symptoms. My dad had this same problem. I need to pray for some relief. Being able to write my feelings here helps too. Sounds strange, but that's an NT for you. I don't feel quite as alone.

I need to stop giving advice as my viewpoint seems to be constantly fluid.

I've been taking vitamin D3 drops every day for maybe 2 months now since I'm always hearing how we don't get enough of it during the winter. But I don't feel any different. Am I supposed to feel different?

I got a call from my mother today. She and my dad have canceled their trip to Mexico because there's a huge storm in Halifax where they use the airport, and it's heading right for us.

Oh well, they can always go another time...

I've been thinking about avatars over the past couple of days. I've been debating whether to stick to The Kinks or use one of two characters from Hogan's Heroes - Peter Newkirk or Hans Shultz. All of my avatars have been Londoners since I've joined WP in 2004. The problems are that I'm a huge Kinks Fan and I'm not as clever or as thin as Peter Newkirk though he's a Cockney or as clever the rest of you guys on WP. The other thing is that Newkirk is a Londoner. Decisions, decisions.

Soon this may be the only thing left of me.
What I write here.

99% of who you are is what other people have told you you are.
I totally made that figure up but you get the idea.
It's a lot.

I don't particularly like being told who I am.
The people who tell you that were also told who they are by someone else who was told who they are etc., etc., etc.
Everything's a lie.

I have too much on my mind.

I'll be switching between my two sides and The Kinks.

Hm I still don't have the cat yet. I'm kind of tip toeing around the idea of it with my dad. I think I'm going to move ahead on it tomorrow.

I have no friends, and it is really depressing sometimes. That's what's on my mind, plus a dozen other things.

Bookkeeping.

That was....disturbing. Don't tell me this is the root of my problems still. I thought I laid this to rest.